Quincy straightened perceptibly. And then, an angry look came into his
eyes.
“Look here,” he said, “you leave me alone!”
He marched down the walk. And the policeman mounted back to the height
of the hill. For once, Law had been chastened and the individual not
crushed, in their perpetual encounter.
* * * * *
What the man in the Rambles had not done, this last completed.
The boy walked now, sturdily, though slowly, toward the Park gate by
which he had flung in. An acute observer might have remarked, as he
walked on, a curious asymmetry between the force that he seemed to be
requiring as he went and the little speed that he attained. A portion of
the boy’s energies appeared to load his heels and to impede him. The
full swing of his legs was evidently not impressed upon the business of
walking. The jerky, heavy gait that he maintained, despite his efforts,
proved a divorce of purpose. Quincy’s upper body, his head, his arms
were in the rhythm of a steady stride. His legs, somehow, were
recalcitrant. And in consequence of this, the boy moved slowly, veered
perceptibly in a way that to a tyro might have seemed the signal of
intoxication.
Doubtless, the strange sermon of the man in the Rambles had let loose
the flow of argument that surged in Quincy. And the rational conclusion
to which his thinking brought him was all of a harmony with that strange
sermon. Yet, Quincy was going home!
Indeed, in this seeming contradiction, lay the crux of his experience.
Quincy was sounding, vividly, the paltriness of logic, the bland
imperviousness to it, of truth. His mind swirled in and out of the
channels of his resentment, his miseries, his hopes. His mind measured,
of course, in flood or ebb, exactly with these channels which it could
not escape. And yet, though their course lay outward, he was going
home! Before, while he thought his mind submerged and gone, he had yet
acted by it. His going forth had been a mental sally though his mind
slept. His going-home was an irrepressible emotion, though his mind
clamored against it. What a strange paradox for fifteen years to
glimpse, though the way of sight was only a pervasive sense of helpless
pain, an almost cosmic irritation. Quincy walked on. And his thoughts
surged against his walking. And gradually, as he walked, he grappled
with his thoughts, grimly determined to deflect them, to turn them back,
in stride with his own steps. All of his power went into this battle.
His mind must be convinced, won over! He, long since, and ere he had so
much as guessed it, had been won over. But even now, Quincy did not
know. While he strove to force his intellect into compliance, he
believed himself merely in process of thinking out his problem. The
struggle to bend his mind to the way of his soul came to him merely as
the mechanics of deliberation. Long ago, Quincy was decided. There
remained, now, only to propitiate his mind. And this paltry afterlude
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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