This afternoon in the late spring, Sarah stood alone in the room,
before the oval mirror of her bureau. She was examining herself.
Marsden lay muffled up on the porch. Quincy was asleep in the room that
had been Marsden’s. The two windows facing forward to the street were
open; but Sarah had thrown-to the shutters. The cries of the other
children came up from the lawn--joyous, sharp, petulant variations on
the theme of youth. Sarah could hear them well, and love them. A portion
of her senses was forever fixed on them, interpreting their moods,
primed to detect a signal of distress or danger as they romped on, and
to rush down in help. Since the accident to Marsden, even in sleep she
was a half-cocked trigger of anxieties, a wrack of nerves singing with
strain.
But this was spring. And Sarah was only thirty-three. However her mind
might bend to the deep business of her children, the eyes that looked at
her from the mirror were not so much a mother’s as a woman’s.
She had come up to change her waist. She lingered, undressed, trying to
understand. For Sarah knew that the reason given by Josiah was a
pretext. There was but one truth, though there were a thousand reasons.
That truth was--coldness. To Josiah, Sarah was no longer a woman to be
loved.
So, with the spring sun splintering through the shutters, Sarah looked
at herself and tried to understand. The room was in shadow. It appeared
cramped and painful with its low ceiling and its dash of red flowers on
the wall, its heavy draperies, and its unhappy beds. The bureau was
between the shuttered windows. And where stood Sarah, a sun’s ray fell
on her breast, one lighted a spray from her dull mass of hair, another
shot aslant her arm, pointing its poverty of curve, its pathos of angle
and declivity where the flesh fell in and the bone ridged out. Yes:--she
looked old enough. And yet, all that had once been lovable was still
somehow there.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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