Well, it is all in the hands of God; again and again one returns to
that, as the bird after its flight in remote fields returns to the
familiar tree, the branching fastness. One should learn, I am sure, to
live for the day and in the day; not to lose oneself in anxieties and
schemes and aims; not to be overshadowed by distant terrors and far-off
hopes, but to say, "To-day is given me for my own; let me use it, let
me live in it." One's immediate duty is happily, as a rule, clear
enough. "Do the next thing," says the old shrewd motto.
The bells cease in the tower, leaving a satisfied stillness. The fire
winks and rustles in the grate; a faint wind shivers and rustles down
the garden paths, sighing for the dawn. I grow weary.
Herbert, I must say "Good-night." God keep and guard you, my old and
true friend. I have rejoiced week by week to hear of your recovered
health, your activity, your renewed zest in life. When shall I welcome
you back? I feel somehow that in these months of separation we have
grown much nearer and closer together. We have been able to speak in
our letters in a way that we have seldom been able to speak eye to eye.
There is a pure gain. My heart goes out to you and yours; and at this
moment I feel as if the dividing seas are nothing, and that we are
close together in the great and loving heart of God.--Your ever
affectionate,
T. B.
SIBTHORPE VICARAGE, WELLS,
Jan. 7, 1905.
DEAR HERBERT,--Four nights ago I dreamed a strange dream. I was in a
big, well-furnished, airy room, with people moving about in it; I knew
none of them, but we were on friendly terms, and talked and laughed
together. Quite suddenly I was struck somewhere in the chest by some
rough, large missile, fired, I thought, from a gun, though I heard no
explosion; it pierced my ribs, and buried itself, I felt, in some vital
part. I stumbled to a couch and fell upon it; some one came to raise
me, and I was aware that other persons ran hither and thither seeking,
I thought, for medical aid and remedies. I knew within myself that my
last hour had come; I was not in pain, but life and strength ebbed from
me by swift degrees. I felt an intolerable sense of indignity in my
helplessness, and an intense desire to be left alone that I might die
in peace; death came fast upon me with clouded brain and fluttering
breath. . . .
SIBTHORPE VICARAGE, WELLS,
Jan. 7, 1905.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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