Americans -- France -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
She had never known--how could she have known?--what his acquiescence
had cost him. Now and again, during the long years, they had been
compelled to discuss the abnormal relation which Peggy called their
friendship; together they had trembled at the fragile basis on which
what most human beings would have considered their meagre happiness was
founded.
More than once she had touched him to the heart by asserting that she
felt sure that the inscrutable Providence in which she had retained an
almost childish faith, could never be so cruel as to deprive her of the
only source of happiness, apart from her little son, which had come her
way; and so, although their intimacy had become closer, the links which
bound them not only remained platonic, but, as is the way with such
links, tended to become more platonic as the time went on.
Even now, as he sat there with the woman he loved wholly in his power,
lying in his arms with her face pressed to his breast, Vanderlyn's mind
was in a maze of doubt as to what was to be their relationship during
the coming days. Even now he was not sure as to what Peggy had meant
when she had seemed to plead, more with herself than with him, for a
short space of such happiness as during their long intimacy they had
never enjoyed.
All his acquaintances, including his official chief, would have told you
that Laurence Vanderlyn was an accomplished man of the world, and an
acute student of human nature, but now, to-night, he owned himself at
fault. Only one thing was quite clear; he told himself that the thought
of again taking up the thread of what had been so unnatural an existence
was hateful--impossible.
Perhaps the woman felt the man's obscure moment of recoil; she gently
withdrew herself from his arms. "I'm tired," she said, rather
plaintively, "the train sways so, Laurence. I wonder if I could lie
down----"
He heaped up the cushions, spread out the large rug, which he had
purchased that day, and which formed their only luggage, for everything
else, by her wish, had been sent on the day before.
Very tenderly he wrapped the folds of the rug round her. Then he knelt
by her side; and at once she put out her arms, and pulled his head down
close to hers; a moment later her soft lips were laid against his cheek.
He remembered, with a retrospective pang, the ache at his heart with
which the sight of her caresses to her child had always filled him.
"Peggy," he whispered, "tell me, my beloved, why are you being so good
to me--now?"
She made no direct answer to the question. Instead, she moved away a
little, and raised herself on her elbow; her blue eyes, filled with a
strange solemnity, rested on his moved face.
"Listen," she said, "I want to tell you something, Laurence. I want you
to know that I understand how--how angelic you have been to me all these
years. Ever since we first knew one another, you have given me
everything--everything in exchange for nothing."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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