JERRY [_utterly crestfallen_]. Of course, I’m proud of it. Don’t I look proud? I’m proud as a pecan. [_Resentfully._] What do you know about it, anyways? You’re nothing but a common soldier--I mean a common general. GENERAL PUSHING [_pityingly_]. I came here to help you, Mr. Frost. [_With warning emphasis._] Perhaps you are aware that the sovereign State of Idaho is about to ask your resignation. JERRY [_now thoroughly resentful_]. Look at here, suppose you be the President for a while, if you know so much about it. GENERAL PUSHING [_complacently_]. I’ve often thought that what this country needs is a military man at the head of it. JERRY. All right, then, you just take off that hat and coat! _Jerry takes off his own coat. Jones rushes forward in alarm._ JONES. If there’s going to be a fight hadn’t we all better go into the billiard-room? JERRY [_insistently to General Pushing_]. Take off that hat and coat! GENERAL PUSHING [_aghast_]. But, Mr. President---- JERRY. Listen here--if I’m the President you do what I say. _General Pushing obediently removes his sword and takes off his hat and coat. He assumes a crouching posture and, putting up his fists, begins to dance menacingly around Jerry._ _But, instead of squaring off, Jerry gets quickly into the General’s hat and coat and buckles on the sword._ JERRY. All right, since you know so much about being President, you put on my hat and coat and try it for a while. _The General, greatly taken aback, looks from Jerry to Jerry’s coat, with startled eyes. Jerry swaggers up and down the lawn, brandishing the sword. Then his eyes fall with distaste upon the General’s shirtsleeves._ JERRY. Well, what are you moping around for? GENERAL PUSHING [_plaintively_]. Come on, Mr. President, be reasonable. Give me that coat and hat. Nobody appreciates a good joke any more than I do, but---- JERRY [_emphatically_]. No, I _won’t_ give them to you. I’m a general, and I’m going to war. You can stay around here. [_Sarcastically, to Mr. Jones._] He’ll straighten everything out, Mr. Jones. GENERAL PUSHING [_pleadingly_]. Mr. President, I’ve waited for this war for forty years. You wouldn’t take away my coat and hat like that, just as we’ve got it almost ready. JERRY [_pointing to the shirtsleeves_]. That’s a nice costume to be hanging around the White House in. GENERAL PUSHING [_brokenly_]. I can’t help it, can I? Who took my coat and hat, anyhow? JERRY. If you don’t like it you can get out. GENERAL PUSHING [_sarcastically_]. Yes. Nice lot of talk it’d cause if I went back to the War Department looking like this. “Where’s your hat and coat, General?” “Oh, I just thought I’d come down in my suspenders this morning.” JERRY. You can have my coat--and my troubles. _Charlotte comes suddenly out of the White House, and they turn startled eyes upon her, like two guilty schoolboys._