Fantasy fiction; Science fiction; Subconsciousness -- Fiction
"I always have those notions," Toffee said. "However at the moment I'm
having them in conjunction with other notions." She smiled prettily.
"I've come to straighten out the world."
"You _what_?" Marc asked incredulously.
"You will admit it needs straightening out?" Toffee asked complacently.
"Well, yes," Marc said. "But believe me the one thing it doesn't need
is your ministrations. It couldn't take it. And I wish you'd get rid of
that filthy ring."
"Why should I?" Toffee asked. "After all it was just as much your idea
as mine."
"My idea?" Marc said. "How do you figure that?"
"You said it plain as anything," Toffee said, "last night, just before
you went to sleep. You said the world needed a good swift kick."
"Oh, my gosh!" Marc said. "And so you've...!" He pointed at the ring.
Toffee nodded proudly. "I'm the girl that's right in there with the
goods. Everything will be just dandy in no time."
* * * * *
"Oh, Lord!" Marc groaned. "Of all the things I've said in my life, you
would have to pick on that!" He stopped, sighed heavily, looked at her
long and wearily. "Well, you can just pack up your ring and your sex
appeal and trot right back to where you came from. Of all the idiotic
notions...!"
"Huh-uh," Toffee shook her head. "It's an idea that appeals to me.
Besides, if enough of the right people get kicked in the right
places ... well, what have we got to lose?"
"Also," Marc said coolly, "I don't believe I thanked you yet for
wrecking my home. I take it that is a sample of your methods for
establishing unity and good will?"
"Good will?" Toffee smiled. "I have other methods for that." She slid
off the edge of the desk and moved purposefully toward him.
"You lay a hand on these drapes," Marc said nervously, "and I'll
scream. I mean it! Julie is still here, you know."
Just then, as though to deliberately make a liar of him, the front door
slammed downstairs.
"We are quite, quite alone," Toffee murmured significantly.
"Go away!" Marc said, trembling in his draperies. "Go back where you
came from. Heaven knows things are bad enough already...."
"Oh, stop it," Toffee said. "We have business to attend to."
"Business?"
"Yes. As long as I've gotten myself all materialized to save the world
I suppose I might just as well pitch in and get it over with. Business
before pleasure, as they say. I figure I can have these world affairs
you've been brooding over set ship-shape in less time than it takes
a flat-chested girl to shuck on her girdle. Then I'll be free to
concentrate on you without interruption."
"No!" Marc said suddenly. "I don't know why I waste my time listening
to this prattle. Save the world! Indeed! I'm taking you down to the
office where you can't harm anyone and leave you there till you decide
to evaporate. Both the world and I have enough headaches already."
"You've dropped your drapes," Toffee observed mildly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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