The Little Girl called her father the Ogre for want of a better name.
She was never quite satisfied with the name, but it had to answer
till she found another. Prob'ly ogres didn't wear an eye-glass in one
of their eyes, or flip off the sweet little daisy heads with cruel
canes, but they were oldish and scare-ish, and of course they
wouldn't have noticed you any, even if you were their Little Girl.
Ogres would have prob'ly wanted a Boy too, and that's the way they'd
have let you see your mistake. So, till she found a better name, the
Little Girl who had made the mistake called her father the Ogre. She
was very proud and fond of the Shining Mother, but she was a little
afraid of the Ogre. After all, one feeling mattered about as much as
the other.
"It doesn't hurt you any to be afraid, when you do it all alone by
yourself," she reasoned, "and it doesn't do you any good to be fond.
It only amuses you," she added, with sad wisdom. As I said, she was
only seven, but she was very old indeed.
So the time went along until the weeks piled up into months. The
summer she was eight, the Little Girl could not stand it any longer.
She decided that something must be done. The Shining Mother and the
Ogre were coming back to the green expanses. She had found that out
at lessons.
"And then they will have it all to go over again--all the
miser'bleness of my not being a Boy," the Little Girl thought, sadly.
"And I don't know whether they can stand it or not, but _I_ can't."
A wave of infinite longing had swept over the shy, sensitive soul of
the Little Girl who should have been a Boy. One of two things must
happen--she must be loved, or die. So, being desperate, she resolved
to chance everything. It was under the Golden Pippin tree, rocking
herself back and forth in the long grass, that she made her plans.
Straight on the heels of them she went to the gardener's little boy.
"Lend me--no, I mean give me--your best clothes," she said, with
gentle imperiousness. It was not a time to waste words. At best, the
time that was left to practise in was limited enough.
"Your _best_ clothes," she had said, realizing distinctly that
fustian and corduroy would not do. She was even a little doubtful of
the best clothes. The gardener's little boy, once his mouth had shut
and his legs come back to their locomotion, brought them at once. If
there was a suspicion of alacrity in his obedience towards the last,
it escaped the thoughtful eyes of the Little Girl. Having always been
a mistake, nothing more, how could she know that a boy's best clothes
are not always his dearest possession? Now if it had been the
threadbare, roomy, easy little fustians, with their precious
pocket-loads, that she had demanded!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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