When last you came down to the Vicarage to see me I
promised you, as you may perhaps remember, that if it
should come to pass that I should engage myself to any
other man, I would at once let you know that it was so. I
little thought then that I should so soon be called upon
to keep my promise. I will not pretend that the writing of
this letter is not very painful to me; but I know that it
is my duty to write it, and to put an end to a suspense
which you have been good enough to feel on my account. You
have, I think, heard the name of my cousin, Captain Walter
Marrable, who returned from India two or three months ago.
I found him staying here with his uncle, the clergyman,
and now I am engaged to be his wife.
Perhaps it would be better that I should say nothing more
than this, and that I should leave myself and my character
and name to your future kindness,--or unkindness,--without
any attempt to win the former or to decry the latter; but
you have been to me ever so good and noble that I cannot
bring myself to be so cold and short. I have always felt
that your preference for me has been a great honour to
me. I have appreciated your esteem most highly, and have
valued your approbation more than I have been able to say.
If it could be possible that I should in future have your
friendship, I should value it more than that of any other
person. God bless you, Mr. Gilmore. I shall always hope
that you may be happy, and I shall hear with delight any
tidings which may seem to show that you are so.
Pray believe that I am
Your most sincere friend,
MARY LOWTHER.
I have thought it best to tell Janet Fenwick what I have
done.
Loring, Thursday.
DEAREST JANET,
I wonder what you will say to my news? But you must not
scold me. Pray do not scold me. It could never, never have
been as you wanted. I have engaged myself to marry my
cousin, Captain Walter Marrable, who is a nephew of Sir
Gregory Marrable, and a son of Colonel Marrable. We shall
be very poor, having not more than £300 a-year above his
pay as a captain; but if he had nothing, I think I should
do the same. Do you remember how I used to doubt whether I
should ever have that sort of love for a man for which I
used to envy you? I don't envy you any longer, and I don't
regard Mr. Fenwick as being nearly so divine as I used to
do. I have a Jupiter of my own now, and need envy no woman
the reality of her love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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