The Vicar of Morwenstow: Being a Life of Robert Stephen Hawker, M.A.Baring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
General
The Vicar of Morwenstow: Being a Life of Robert Stephen Hawker, M.A.
Baring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
Hawker, Robert Stephen, 1803?-1875
MY EVER DEAREST,—I have received yours from Salisbury, and am glad
to hear you came so farr well, with poore Jack. Ye shall be sure of
my prairs, which is the best service I can doe you. I canott
perceave whither you had receaved mine by Tom, or no, but I believe
by this time you have mett that and another since by the post. Truly
I have been out of frame ever since you went, not with a cough, but
in another kinde, much indisposd. However, I have striven with it,
and was at Church last Sunday, but not the former. I have been vexed
with diverse demands made of money than I could satisfie, but I
instantly paid what you sent, and have intreated Mr. Rous his
patience a while longer, as you directed. It grieves me to think how
chargeable your family is, considering your occasion. It hath this
many yeares troubled me to think to what passe it must come at last,
if it run on after this course. How many times what hath appeared
hopefull, and yet proved contrary in the conclusion, hath befalen
us, I am loth to urge, because tis farr from my desire to disturbe
your thoughts; but this sore is not to be curd with silence, or
patience either, and while you are loth to discourse or thinke of
that you can take little comfort to see how bad it is, and I was
unwilling to strike on that string which sounds harsh in your eare
(the matter still grows worse, though). I can never putt it out of
my thoughts, and that makes me often times seeme dreaming to you,
when you expect I should sometimes observe more complement with my
frends, or be more active in matters of curiousity in our House,
which doubtlesse you would have been better pleasd with had I been
capable to have performd it, and I believe though I had a naturall
dullnes in me, it would never so much have appeard to my prejudice,
but twas increasd by a continuance of sundry disasters, which I
still mett with, yet never till this yeare, but I had some strength
to encounter them, and truly now I am soe cleane overcome, as tis in
vaine to deny a truth. It seems to me now tis high time to be
sensible that God is displeased, having had many sad remembrances in
our estate and childrene late, yet God spard us in our children
long, and when I strive to follow your advice in moderating my
grieffe (which I praise God) I have thus farr been able to doe as
not to repine at God’s will, though I have a tender sence of griefe
which hangs on me still, and I think it as dangerous and improper to
forgett it, for I cannott but think it was a neer touched
correction, sent from God to check me for my many neglects of my
duty to God. It was the tenth and last plague God smote the
Egyptians with, the death of their first borne, before he utterly
destroyed them, they persisting in their disobedience
notwithstanding all their former punishments. This apprehension
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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