“Just think,” the canon would say to Birotteau, “that for twelve
consecutive years nothing has ever been amiss,--linen in perfect order,
bands, albs, surplices; I find everything in its place, always in
sufficient quantity, and smelling of orris-root. My furniture is rubbed
and kept so bright that I don’t know when I have seen any dust--did
you ever see a speck of it in my rooms? Then the firewood is so well
selected. The least little things are excellent. In fact, Mademoiselle
Gamard keeps an incessant watch over my wants. I can’t remember having
rung twice for anything--no matter what--in ten years. That’s what
I call living! I never have to look for a single thing, not even my
slippers. Always a good fire, always a good dinner. Once the bellows
annoyed me, the nozzle was choked up; but I only mentioned it once, and
the next day Mademoiselle gave me a very pretty pair, also those nice
tongs you see me mend the fire with.”
For all answer Birotteau would say, “Smelling of orris-root!” That
“smelling of orris-root” always affected him. The canon’s remarks
revealed ideal joys to the poor vicar, whose bands and albs were the
plague of his life, for he was totally devoid of method and often
forgot to order his dinner. Therefore, if he saw Mademoiselle Gamard
at Saint-Gatien while saying mass or taking round the plate, he never
failed to give her a kindly and benevolent look,--such a look as Saint
Teresa might have cast to heaven.
Though the comforts which all creatures desire, and for which he had so
often longed, thus fell to his share, the Abbe Birotteau, like the rest
of the world, found it difficult, even for a priest, to live without
something to hanker for. Consequently, for the last eighteen months
he had replaced his two satisfied passions by an ardent longing for a
canonry. The title of Canon had become to him very much what a peerage
is to a plebeian minister. The prospect of an appointment, hopes
of which had just been held out to him at Madame de Listomere’s, so
completely turned his head that he did not observe until he reached his
own door that he had left his umbrella behind him. Perhaps, even then,
if the rain were not falling in torrents he might not have missed it, so
absorbed was he in the pleasure of going over and over in his mind what
had been said to him on the subject of his promotion by the company at
Madame de Listomere’s,--an old lady with whom he spent every Wednesday
evening.
The vicar rang loudly, as if to let the servant know she was not to
keep him waiting. Then he stood close to the door to avoid, if he could,
getting showered; but the drip from the roof fell precisely on the toes
of his shoes, and the wind blew gusts of rain into his face that were
much like a shower-bath. Having calculated the time necessary for the
woman to leave the kitchen and pull the string of the outer door, he
rang again, this time in a manner that resulted in a very significant
peal of the bell.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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