I do wish now I had had the pluck then to say straight out that I rather liked Lord Robert, and would not make any bargain, but one is foolish sometimes when taken suddenly. It is then when I suppose it shows if one’s head is screwed on firmly, and mine wasn’t to-night. But she looked so charming, and I felt a little proud, and perhaps ashamed to show that I am very much interested in Lord Robert, especially if he belongs to her, whatever that means, and so I said it was a bargain, and of course I had never thought of playing with him, but when I came to reflect afterwards, that is a promise, I suppose, and I sha’n’t be able to look at him any more under my eyelashes. And I don’t know why I feel very wide awake and tired, and rather silly, and as if I wanted to cry to-night. However, she was awfully kind to me, and lovely, and has asked me to go and stay with her, and lots of nice things, so it is all for the best, no doubt. But when Lord Robert came in, and came over to us, it did feel hard having to get up at once and go and pretend I wanted to talk to Malcolm. I did not dare to look up often, but sometimes, and I found Lord Robert’s eyes were fixed on me with an air of reproach and entreaty, and the last time there was wrath as well? Lady Verningham kept him with her until every one started to go to bed. There had been music and bridge, and other boring diversions happening, but I sat still. And I don’t know what Malcolm had been talking about, I had not been listening, though I kept murmuring “Yes” and “No.” He got more and more _empressé_, until suddenly I realized he was saying, as we rose: “You have promised! Now remember, and I shall ask you to keep it--to-morrow!” And there was such a loving, mawkish, wobbly look in his eyes, it made me feel quite sick. The horrible part is, I don’t know what I have promised any more than the man in the moon! It may be something perfectly dreadful, for all I know! Well, if it is a fearful thing, like kissing him, I shall have to break my word,--which I never do for any consideration whatever. Oh, dear! oh, dear! it is not always so easy to laugh at life as I once thought! I almost wish I were settled down, and had not to be an adventuress. Some situations are so difficult. I think now I shall go to bed. I wonder if Lord Robert--no, what is the good of wondering; he is no longer my affair. I shall blow out the light! 300, PARK STREET, _Saturday night, Nov. 19th_. I DO not much care to look back to the rest of my stay at Tryland. It is an unpleasant memory. That next day after I last wrote, it poured with rain, and every one came down cross to breakfast. The whole party appeared except Lady Verningham, and breakfast was just as stiff and boring as dinner. I happened to be seated when Lord Robert came in, and Malcolm was in the place beside me. Lord Robert hardly spoke, and looked at me once, or twice, with his eyebrows right up.