"I'm afraid that's rather dreary, too," she answered, with a sad little
smile. "It's just... going on living... and remembering."
He leaned over her and suddenly she felt the eager touch of his hand on
hers.
"It needn't be that, Cara," he said swiftly. "It needn't be that." She
looked up at him with startled eyes. Her thoughts had been so far away,
bridging the gulf between to-day and long-dead yesterday, that she had
almost to wrench them back to the present. And now here was Robin, with
a new light in his eyes and a new, passionate note in his voice.
"Cara--darling--"
With a sudden realisation of what was coming, she drew her hand quickly
away from him.
"No--no, Robin--" she began.
But he would not listen.
"Don't say 'no' yet. Hear me out!" he exclaimed. "I love you. But I don't
suppose--I'm not conceited enough to suppose that you love me--yet. Only
let me try--let me try to teach you to love me! Don't judge all men by one.
You've had a ghastly time. Let me try--some day--to make you happier."
He was so eager, so humble, so entirely selfless in his devotion, thinking
only of her, that she was touched inexpressibly--tempted, even. Ah! If she
could only put all the past aside, out of sight, and take this love that
Robin offered her and hold it round her like a garment shielding her from
the icy blasts of life! But she had nothing to give in return for this
splendid, brave first love he was offering her. She must play fair. She
dare not take where she could not give. Very gently she put him from her.
"You don't understand," she said. "You don't understand. Robin, I wish--I
wish I could say 'yes.' But I can't. It isn't--Dene--who stands between us.
I'm not a coward--I'd take my chance again if I could love again--"
"But you never loved him? You _couldn't_ have loved him!" he protested
incredulously.
"My husband? No. But--I loved some one once. And I threw away my
happiness--to marry Dene. Oh, it was years ago, Robin--" She broke off and
lifted her eyes appealingly to his face. "Must I go on? That's--that's
really all there is to tell you. Only don't you see--I--I can't marry you."
"No, I don't see--yet," returned Robin stoutly, though her words had dashed
the quick, eager look of hope from his face. "This--this other man, the one
you cared for--is he coming back to marry you?"
"Coming back? No!" For once the sweet voice was hard--bitterly hard. "He
has gone out of my life for ever."
A look of relief came into his eyes. He took her hands into his and held
them very gently.
"Then in that case," he said, "there's still a chance for me. Not now--not
yet. I wouldn't try to hurry you. But you'll let me go on loving you,
Cara--after all, you can't stop my doing that!"--with a crooked little
smile. "And some day, perhaps, you'll come to me and let me try and make
you happier again. I think I could do that, you know."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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