"No. Hear me out. I know what's the matter. You don't trust me. You're
afraid, if you marry me, that I'll let you down--as my father let my mother
down. But I won't! I swear it." He stood still and, slipping his arm from
under hers, took both her hands in his and held them tightly. "If you'll
marry me, Ann, I promise you that I'll give up gambling--every form of
it--from this day forth."
"You couldn't!" she broke in hastily.
"I could do anything--for you," he answered simply. "Because I love you."
There was something very touching in the boyish declaration. Ann looked
up and saw his face in the moonlight, white and rather stern. It made her
think of the face of some young knight of bygone days taking a sacred vow
before he set forth to seek and find the Holy Grail.
He bent down to her.
"Ann, darling," he said gently. "I love you so much. Won't you marry me?"
She felt her heart contract. He had asked her many times before--sometimes
half jestingly, sometimes with a sudden imperious passion that would fain
have swept everything before it. But this was different. There was a
gravity, an earnestness in his speech which she could not lightly brush
aside. Alone here, under the wide sky, with only God's open spaces round
them, it seemed to her as though his question and her answer to it must
partake of the same solemnness as vows exchanged within the hallowed walls
of a sanctuary.
She wished intensely that she could give him the answer he desired. And,
beyond that, she felt the urge of Virginia's trust in her. Here was her
chance. At a word from her he was willing to renounce the one thing for
which he craved--the thing that had wrecked his father's life, and which
might some day wreck his own. Ought she to say that word--promise to marry
him, even though she had no love to give him? Her mind seemed to be going
round and round in a maze of uncertainty and doubt.
And then suddenly the remembrance of what Lady Susan had said rushed over
her: _"A woman may throw her whole life's happiness into the scales, and
still fail to turn the balance. Without love--the love that can forgive
seventy times seven, and then not be tired--she'll certainly fail_."
The words steadied her. "_Without love_--" and she had no love to give
Tony. Not the love that a woman should bring to the man she will call
husband. Out of the turmoil of her mind this one thought emerged clear and
irrefutable. And in that moment, for good or ill, her decision was taken.
"Tony." She spoke very gently, sore at heart for the pain she knew she must
inflict. "I must say no, dear. If I loved you, I'd say yes very gladly. But
I don't love you--not like that."
"And you won't marry me?"
"No, I can't marry you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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