"I am so happy!" This had been the unbroken song of Amy Berl for the
five years of her married life. Maternity had not altered a line of her
girlish figure, neither had it crowned her with the rounded, satisfying
glory of womanhood. The ceaseless, parching winds had not dimmed the
lustre of her clear blue eyes, nor deadened the gloss of her soft flaxen
hair. Even the hot, dry air, so trying to most, only heightened the
beauty of her complexion, as the peach reveals the rich glow of its
color by diffusion through the meshes of its downy veil. Delicate in
face and figure, there was no suggestion of frailty, neither was there a
suggestion of strength. There was the glow of perfect health. In the
eyes that looked fearlessly and frankly into the eyes of others, there
was unmistakably a capacity for infinite happiness and infinite
suffering. This was all. The eyes were frank because they had nothing to
conceal; nor did they dream that other eyes differed from themselves.
They were fearless because they knew no sin in themselves or in others.
There was not strength of mind or of intellect to compel the fruition of
her desire for love. It must come to her without her volition or not at
all. As the flowers of the field unfold in beauty under sun and shower,
even so she grew and blossomed and was fair to look upon. As the flowers
of the field wither away in parching drought, even so would the beauty
of happiness fall from her shrinking soul. She was of a religious
nature, not because of a consciousness of its necessity to the human
soul, but because, to her, God was love and his works beautiful to look
upon. God to her was impersonal, because in her was not strength of
intellect to construct an entity from its manifestations. When Elijah
Berl came to her, she received him as a god. Her love was not selective;
it was responsive. Henceforth her daily prayers on her bended knees were
to her husband, not to the Divine Giver of every good and perfect gift.
Even when her first-born lay in her arms, the light that shone in her
eyes was not the giving of maternal love, but the thrill of assurance
that the helpless mite was but another bond that bound her happiness to
her soul and made it more her own. She gave with the unconscious
selfishness of a perfect mirror that which she received, no more, no
less.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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