her digestion; and has such an oppression in her stomach that she dares not eat any more, for fear of over-charging nature. ‘And in truth,’ says she, ‘how can it be otherwise; since (unhappy creature that I am!) he is gone that gave the relish to all my enjoyments; but there is no recalling him from the grave, and so, no remedy but patience.’ By this time, you see,” quoth the old man, “whether your exclamations were reasonable, or no.” The words were hardly out of his mouth, when hearing an uproar among the rabble in the street, we looked out to see what was the matter. And there we saw a catchpole, without either hat or band, out of breath, and his face all bloody, crying out, “Help, help, in the king’s name! stop thief, stop thief!” and all the while, running as hard as he could drive, after a thief that made away from him, as if the devil had been at his breech. After him, came an attorney, all dirty, a world of papers in his hand, an inkhorn at his girdle, and a crowd of nasty people about him; and down he sat himself just before us, to write somewhat upon his knee. Bless me (thought I) how a cause prospers in the hand of one of these fellows, for he had filled his paper in a trice. “These catchpoles,” said I, “had need to be well paid, for the hazards they run to secure us in our lives and fortunes; and indeed they deserve it. Look how the poor wretch is torn, bruised, and battered, and all this for the good and benefit of the public.” “Soft and fair,” quoth the old man; “I think thou wouldst never leave talking, if I did not stop thy mouth sometime. You must know, that he that made the escape and the catchpole are a couple of ancient friends and pot-companions. Now the catchpole quarrels the thief for not giving him a snip in the last booty; and the thief, after a great struggle, and a good lusty rubber at cuffs, has made a shift to save himself. You’ll say the rogue had need of good heels, to outrun this gallows-beagle; for there’s hardly any beast will outstrip a bailiff that runs upon the view of a quarry. So that there’s not the least thought of a public good in the catchpole’s action; but merely a prosecution of his own profit, and a spite to see himself choused. Now if the catchpole, I confess, without any private interest had made this attempt upon the thief, (being his friend) to bring him to justice, it had been well; and yet, take this along with you: it is as natural to let slip a serjeant at a pickpocket as a greyhound at a hare. The whip, the pillory, the axe, and the halter make up the best part of the catchpole’s revenue. These people are of all sorts the most odious to the world; and if men in revenge would resolve to be virtuous, though but for a year or two, they might starve them all. It is in fine an unlucky employment, and catchpoles as well as the devils themselves have the wages of tormentors.”