"Good Lord!" he suddenly breathed. "I may not even be here to see the
snows come!" Perhaps there was a grim note in his voice. There was
certainly no tragedy, no offensive sentimentality. He was looking the
matter in the face. But it was true that Dan had always been partial to
the winter season. When the snow lay all over the farmlands and bowed
down the limbs of the trees, it had always wakened a curious flood of
feelings in the wasted man. It seemed to him that he could remember
other winters, wherein the snow lay for endless miles over an endless
wilderness, and here and there were strange, many-toed tracks that could
be followed in the icy dawns. He didn't ever know just what made the
tracks, except that they were creatures of fang and talon that no law
had ever tamed. But of course it was just a fancy. He wasn't in the
least misled about it. He knew that he had never, in his lifetime, seen
the wilderness. Of course his grandfather had been a frontiersman of the
first order, and all his ancestors before him--a rangy, hardy breed
whose wings would crumple in civilization--but he himself had always
lived in cities. Yet the falling snows, soft and gentle but with a kind
of remorselessness he could sense but could not understand, had always
stirred him. He'd often imagined that he would like to see the forests
in winter. He knew something about forests. He had gone one year to
college and had studied all the forestry that the university heads would
let him take. Later he had read endless books on the same subject. But
the knowledge had never done him any good. Except for a few boyish
dreams, he never imagined that it would.
In him you could see a reflection of the boy that played beside the pond
of snow water, twenty years before. His dark gray eyes were still rather
large and perhaps the wasted flesh around them made them seem larger
than they were. But it was a little hard to see them, as he wore large
glasses. His mother had been sure, years before, that he needed glasses;
and she had easily found an oculist that agreed with her.
Now that he was alone on the path, the utter absence of color in his
cheeks was startling. That meant the absence of red,--that warm glow of
the blood, eager and alive in his veins. There was, indeed, another
color, visible only because of the stark whiteness of his skin. He was
newly shaven, and his lips and chin looked somewhat blue from the heavy
growth of hair under the skin. Perhaps an observer would have noticed
lean hands, with big-knuckled fingers, a rather firm mouth, and closely
cropped dark hair. He was twenty-nine years of age, but he looked
somewhat older. He knew now that he was never going to be any older. A
doctor as sure of himself as the one he had just consulted couldn't
possibly be mistaken.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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