The Von Toodleburgs; Or, The History of a Very Distinguished Family — John Shaqi
The Von Toodleburgs; Or, The History of a Very Distinguished FamilyAdams, F. Colburn (Francis Colburn)
General
The Von Toodleburgs; Or, The History of a Very Distinguished Family
Adams, F. Colburn (Francis Colburn)
Families -- Fiction; New York (State) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Treasure troves -- Fiction
"In other matters, you know, Mrs. Chapman, I have always yielded to
you--"
"And I have always yielded to you," resumed the anxious woman, "and
never considered it a condescension. But in this I must have my own
way." And Mrs. Chapman got up and walked to a window overlooking the
Tappan Zee. The night was bright and starlight, and shadows were
flitting and dancing over the smooth waters. The picture of the ship,
with Tite waving Mattie an adieu from the forecastle, haunted her mind.
"If that ship goes to the bottom of the sea, not a tear shall I
shed--not a tear!" resumed the speaker, in an agitated tone. "And I have
as tender a heart as anybody. But we must elevate the family. That's
laudable, you know. Nice people are very particular about these things.
And you know how much there is in names. Think of elevating the family
by taking a man by the name of Toodlebug into it! Think of our going to
live in New York with such a name. Everybody would say Toodlebug!
Toodlebug! and nobody would come to our daughter's parties." The good
woman ran on in this way for several minutes, compelling her dear
Chapman to keep the peace. At length she settled back into her rocking
chair, and there was a pause.
"My dear," said Chapman, meekly, "I have always held that a man could
commit no greater folly than that of quarrelling with a woman on a
question of family pride. In such a contest the man is sure to get the
worst of it. I say this understandingly, my dear." And Chapman shut up
his book, and looked up into his wife's face, as if to watch the changes
of her countenance.
"We may agree on that matter yet, my dear. A man is never so low by
birth (I mean in this country, at least,) but that he may rise to the
highest office of honor and trust--"
"Not with such a name as Toodlebug--never!" Mrs. Chapman interrupted,
curtly.
"That's a mistake, my dear. Names never distinguished people. A man's
merit and money are the things that do it. This is a free country. A
woman may have as many quarrels as she pleases, and have her own way in
things generally. Nothing personal, my dear.
"But to go back to what I was pondering over when you interrupted me. A
family never gets through the world easy without a solid basis; and I
was thinking how to give a solid basis to our little family. Marrying is
all well enough in its way; but the woman who marries a man without a
solid basis, either in money or character, marries into misery. That's
my philosophy--"
"Exactly!" interrupted Mrs. Chapman, with a stately nod of the head, and
rubbing her fat hands. "Now you talk as I like to hear you. There's no
getting up in the world without money."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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