THE VORTEX THE VORTEX A Play in Three Acts By NOEL COWARD [Illustration: (Publisher colophon.)] PUBLISHERS HARPER & BROTHERS NEW YORK AND LONDON THE VORTEX Copyright, 1924 BY NOEL COWARD Printed in the U.S.A. D-A _All rights reserved._ _Applications regarding performing rights should be addressed to the author care of the publishers_ To G. CALTHROP WITH A GOOD DEAL OF GRATITUDE DRAMATIS PERSONÆ PRESTON HELEN SAVILLE PAUNCEFORT QUENTIN CLARA HIBBERT FLORENCE LANCASTER TOM VERYAN NICKY LANCASTER DAVID LANCASTER BUNTY MAINWARING BRUCE FAIRLIGHT THE VORTEX ACT I THE VORTEX ACT I _The scene is the drawing-room of_ MRS. LANCASTER’S _flat in London. The colors and decoration are on the verge of being original. The furniture is simple but distinctly expensive._ _Persons shown are_ HELEN SAVILLE _and_ PAUNCEFORT QUENTIN. HELEN SAVILLE _and_ PAUNCEFORT QUENTIN _are shown in by_ PRESTON. HELEN _is a smartly dressed woman of about thirty_. “PAWNIE” _is an elderly maiden gentleman_. PRESTON I’m expecting Mrs. Lancaster in at any moment now, ma’am. HELEN Thank you, Preston, we’ll wait a little. PRESTON Shall I get you some tea? HELEN No, thanks, we’ve already had some--give me a cigarette, Pawnie; they’re in that box on the table. [PAWNIE _hands her cigarette box_. PRESTON _goes out_.] PAWNIE It may be tiresome of me, but I think all this coloring is oppressive. HELEN You make such a “fetish” of house decoration, Pawnie. PAWNIE [_Wandering round the room_] Not at all, but I do like things to be good and right. HELEN Well, I don’t consider the new frieze in your bathroom either good or right. PAWNIE How can you, Helen! It’s too marvelous for words. Parelli designed it specially for me. HELEN Personally, it would make me self-conscious to sit in a bath surrounded by frisky gods and goddesses all with such better figures than mine. PAWNIE I find it encouraging. This whole room is so typical of Florence. HELEN In what way? PAWNIE Every way. Look at the furniture. HELEN A little artificial perhaps, but quite harmless. PAWNIE Dear Helen, you’re such a loyal friend. HELEN I’m very fond of Florence. PAWNIE We all are. Oh, my God, look at that lampshade! HELEN I gave it to her last Christmas. PAWNIE Wasn’t that a little naughty of you? HELEN I don’t see why; it’s extremely pretty. PAWNIE