The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 2 of 5)Burney, Fanny
History
The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 2 of 5)
Burney, Fanny
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Refugees -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Refugees -- Fiction; War stories
Is this language plain enough, this reasoning sufficiently sincere,
to suit the character of a friend? And as such may I address you,
without incurring displeasure? or, which is still, if possible,
more painful to me, exciting alarm? O trust me, generously trust
me, and be your ultimate decision what it may, you shall not repent
your confidence!
'A.H.'
This was not a letter to quiet the shaken nerves of Ellis, nor to
restore to her the modulation of her voice. She read it with strong
emotion, dwelling chiefly upon the phrase, 'long-beaten track of female
timidity.'--Ah! she cried, delicacy is what he means, though he
possesses too much himself to mark more strongly his opinion that I
swerve from it! And in that shall I be wanting?--And what he thinks--he,
the most liberal of men!--will surely be thought by all whose esteem,
whose regard I most covet!--How dreadfully am I involved! in what misery
of helplessness!--What is woman,--with the most upright designs, the
most rigid circumspection,--what is woman unprotected? She is pronounced
upon only from outward semblance:--and, indeed, what other criterion has
the world? Can it read the heart?
Then, again perusing her letter, You, alone, O Harleigh! she cried, you,
alone, escape the general contagion of superficial decision! Your own
heart is the standard of your judgment; you consult that, and it tells
you, that honour and purity may be in the breasts of others, however
forlorn their condition, however mysterious their history, however dark,
inexplicable, nay impervious, the latent motives of their conduct!--O
generous Harleigh!--Abandoned as I seem--you alone--Tears rolled rapidly
down her cheeks, and she lifted the letter up to her lips; but ere they
touched it, started, shuddered, and cast it precipitately into the fire.
One of Miss Matson's young women now came to tell her, that Mr Harleigh
begged to know whether her commissions were prepared for London.
Hastily wiping her eyes, she answered that she had no commissions; but,
upon raising her head, she saw the messenger descending the stairs, and
Harleigh entering the room.
He apologised for hastening her, in a calm and formal style, palpably
intended for the hearing of the young woman; but, upon shutting the
door, and seeing the glistening eyes of Ellis, calmness and formality
were at an end; and, approaching her with a tenderness which he could
not resist, 'You are afflicted?' he cried. 'Why is it not permitted me
to soothe the griefs it is impossible for me not to share? Why must I be
denied offering even the most trivial assistance, where I would devote
with eagerness my life?--You are unhappy,--you make me wretched, and you
will neither bestow nor accept the consolation of sympathy? You see me
resigned to sue only for your friendship:--why should you thus
inflexibly withhold it? Is it--answer me sincerely!--is it my honour
that you doubt?--'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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