The Water Goats, and Other TroublesButler, Ellis Parker
General
The Water Goats, and Other Troubles
Butler, Ellis Parker
Fiction; Humorous stories; Short stories, American
“Excellent,” I said, “but what part do I play in this?”
“This part,” said Henry, “you will wear, over your street clothes, a
gown that Madge has brought in her suit-case and a hat that she has also
brought, both of which her father will easily recognize, while Madge
will redden her face with rouge, muss her hair, don a torn, calico
dress, and with a scrub-rag and a mop in her hands easily pass for a
scrub-woman.
“And then?” I asked.
“Then you and Lemuel will steal cautiously down the stairs, as if you
were Madge and I seeking to escape, while Madge and I, as Lemuel and the
scrub-woman, will go down by the elevator. My father and Madge's father
will seize you and Lemuel--”
“And I shall appear like a fool when they discover I am a respectable
business man rigged up in woman's clothes,” I said.
“Not at all,” said Madge, “for Henry and I have thought of that. You
must play your part until you see that henry and I have escaped from
the elevator and have left the building, and that is all. I have had the
forethought to prepare an alibi for you. As soon as you see that Henry
and I are safe outside the building, you must become very indignant, and
insist that you are a respectable married woman, and in proof you
must hand my father the contents of this package. He will be convinced
immediately and let you go, and then Lemuel can run you up to your
office and you can take off my dress and hat and catch the six-thirty
train without trouble.” She then handed me a small parcel, which I
slipped into my coat pocket.
When this had been agreed upon she and Henry left the office and I took
the hat and dress from the suit-case and put them on, while Lemuel put
on Henry's suit and whitened his face. This took but a few minutes, and
we went into the hall and found Henry and Madge already waiting for us.
Henry was blackened into a good likeness of Lemuel, and Madge was quite
a mussy scrub-woman. They immediately entered the elevator and began to
descend slowly, while Lemuel and I crept down the stairs.
Lemuel and I kept as nearly as possible opposite the elevator, so that
we might arrive at the foot of the stairs but a moment before Madge and
Henry, and we could hear the two fathers shuffling on the street floor,
when suddenly, as we reached the third floor, we heard a whisper from
Henry in the elevator. The elevator had stuck fast between the third and
fourth floors. As with one mind, Lemuel and I seated ourselves on a step
and waited until Henry should get the elevator running again and could
proceed to the street floor.
For a while we could hear no noise but the grating of metal on metal as
Henry worked with the starting lever of the elevator, and then we heard
the two voices of the fathers.
“It is a ruse,” said one father. “They are pretending the elevator is
stuck, and when we grow impatient and start up the stairs they will come
down with a rush and escape us.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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