The Water Goats, and Other TroublesButler, Ellis Parker
General
The Water Goats, and Other Troubles
Butler, Ellis Parker
Fiction; Humorous stories; Short stories, American
“No matter,” said the poor woman, putting her hand to her head. “Some
day she may wish to change the colour of her hair to auburn-red, which
is easily done with a little bleach and a little dye, and should she do
so these may come handy;” and with that she slipped something soft and
fluffy into my hand and fled into the night. When I looked, I saw in my
hand the very curls you hold there. My first impulse was to drop them in
the street, but I remembered that the poor woman had not given them to
me, but to you, and that it was my duty to bring them home to you, so I
slipped them into my pocket.
When Mr. Billings had ended this recital of what had happened to him his
wife said:
“Huh!”
At the same time she tossed the curls into the grate, where they
shrivelled up, burst into blue smoke, and shortly disappeared in ashes.
“That is a very likely story,” she said, “but it does not explain how
this came to be in your pocket.”
Saying this she drew from her basket the handkerchief and handed it to
Mr. Billings.
“Hah!” he exclaimed. For a moment he turned the rolled-up handkerchief
over and over, and then he cautiously opened it. At the sight of the
twelve acorns he seemed somewhat surprised, and when the initials “T. M.
C.” on the corner of the handkerchief caught his eye he blushed.
“You are blushing--you are disturbed,” said Mrs. Billings severely.
“I am,” said Mr. Billings, suddenly recovering himself; “and no wonder.”
“And no wonder, indeed!” said Mrs Billings. “Perhaps, then, you can tell
me how those acorns and that handkerchief came to be in your pocket.”
“I can,” said Mr. Billings, “and I will.”
“You had better,” said Mrs. Billings.
III. THE TWELVE ACORNS AND THE LADY'S HANDKERCHIEF
You may have noticed, my dear (said Mr. Billings), that the initials on
that handkerchief are “T. M. C.,” and I wish you to keep that in mind,
for it has a great deal to do with this story. Had they been anything
else that handkerchief would not have found its way into my pocket; and
when you see how those acorns and that handkerchief, and the half-filled
nursing-bottle and the auburn-red curls all combined to keep me out of
my home until the unearthly hour of three A. M., you will forget the
unjust suspicions which I too sadly fear you now hold against me, and
you will admit that a half-filled patent nursing-bottle, a trio of
curls, a lady's handkerchief and twelve acorns were the most natural
things in the world to find in my pockets.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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