"Do you mean that you think I only care to teach, that I--that I am not
much of a pupil?" she said at length.
"Perhaps that is putting it too strongly. But I believe your husband had
a great deal to give."
"Claude! Do you? But yes, of course--Susan!" Charmian's voice changed,
became almost sharply interrogative. "Do you mean that Claude could
teach me more than I could ever teach him?"
"It is impossible for me to be sure of that."
"Perhaps. But, tell me, do you think it is so?"
"I am inclined to."
Charmian felt as if she flushed. She was conscious of a stir of
something that was like anger within her. It hurt her very much to think
that perhaps Susan put Claude higher than her. But she controlled the
expression of what she felt, and only said, perhaps a little coldly:
"It ought to be so. He is so much cleverer than I am."
"I don't think I mean that. It isn't always cleverness we learn from."
"Goodness then!"
Charmian forced herself to smile.
"Do you think me far below Claude from the moral point of view?" she
added, with an attempt at laughing lightness.
"It isn't that either. But I think he has let out an anchor which
reaches bottom, though perhaps at present he isn't aware of it. And I'm
not sure that you ever have. By the way, I've a message from Adelaide
for you."
"Yes?"
"She wants to know how your rehearsals are going."
"Wonderfully well, as I said."
Charmain spoke almost gravely. Her exultant enthusiasm had died away for
the moment.
"And, if it is allowed, she would like to go to one. Can she?"
Charmian hesitated. But the strong desire for Mrs. Shiffney's verdict
overcame a certain suddenly born reluctance of which she was aware, and
she said:
"I should think so. Why not? Even a spy cannot destroy the merit of the
enemy's work by wishing."
Susan said nothing to this.
"You must come with her if she does come," Charmian added.
She was still feeling hurt. She had looked upon Susan as her very
special friend. She had let Susan see into her heart. And now she
realized that Susan had criticized that heart. At that moment Charmian
was too unreasonable to remember that criticism is often an
inevitable movement of the mind which does not touch the soul to change
it. Her attempt at cordiality was, therefore, forced.
"I don't know whether she will want me," said Susan. "But at any rate I
shall be there for the first night."
"Ah--the first night!" said Charmian.
Again she changed. With the thought of the coming epoch in her life and
Claude's her vexation died.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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