He turned to her and half raised a hand. “You mustn’t,” said he.
“That’s my school—yes. But I can’t be its president.”
“Why? What do you mean, Mr. Joslin?”
“You don’t understand. No, I reckon not.”
“No.” She shook her head. “You start a thing and don’t finish it—is
that the plan? And this the very thing in all your life which
outweighed everything else? And you’ve got me to thinking it was a
wonderful thing that you had planned. You’d drop it now?”
She was resting her chin on her hands, now white and thin, supported on
Granny Williams’ cane. Now she lifted her head and half turned away. He
caught the significance of the act, and it made his gaunt face paler.
“Well,” replied he quietly, “now perhaps you can see why I’m not happy.”
She looked at him so deeply regretful that he pulled together with a
resolve obviously painful.
“You don’t know much about me. That’s of no importance. But if you are
interested in my school and my people, then I do become important in
one way. Shall I have to tell you about myself?”
“Go on,” said she, nodding. “Yes.”
So then, simply, baldly, unsparing of himself, he did go on and tell
her about himself and his life—the hopelessness of it, the narrowness,
the meagerness, the despair of it all, the tenfold shackles of misery
and ignorance which had held him and all his so long. Then he told her
of his own marriage; and of the end of it.
“I don’t wonder you are unhappy,” said she slowly at last. “But still
I don’t know why you should not go on with your school as you planned.”
“I reckon I’ll have to tell you all the rest,” said David Joslin
desperately after a time. “I didn’t think I ever could.”
“Why not?” she asked simply.
“You want to know what is my stumbling block? I’ll tell you—it was a
woman.”
“You mean your wife? But I don’t think I ought to discuss that.” She
half rose.
But she could not stop him now as he went on stumblingly, unalterably.
“Oh, no! Not that woman—my wife,” said he. “Another.”
“You needn’t tell me anything more, I think,” said she. “Are you going
to tell me just some common story about yourself and some woman?”
“That’s just precisely what I’m going to do!” said he. “I’m going to
kill all the respect for me you’ve ever had. Then you’ll know why I
can’t be president of my own college. I’ll have to go through fire
before I can. I’m not good enough. Now then you can see.”
“Who was she? When——?”
“You ought to know, certainly. It was your husband——”
She sat up suddenly, her eyes flashing. “_That_ woman——!”
“So then you knew her?”
“Why should I not?” rejoined Marcia Haddon, now all aflame. “Did she
not ruin my married life, as much of it as there was to ruin? Didn’t
all the town know about her, and him—and me? Of all the women in the
world I ought to hate, that’s the one!”
“And of all the men in the world you will hate, I’m the one,” said
David Joslin. “But I can’t lie to you now. My conscience made me a
coward for a while, but it’s my way to go on through.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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