Capitalists and financiers -- Fiction; Commercial crimes -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction; Satire
Felix, when he left his mother, went down to the only club to which
he now belonged. Clubs are pleasant resorts in all respects but one.
They require ready money, or even worse than that in respect to
annual payments,--money in advance; and the young baronet had been
absolutely forced to restrict himself. He, as a matter of course, out
of those to which he had possessed the right of entrance, chose the
worst. It was called the Beargarden, and had been lately opened with
the express view of combining parsimony with profligacy. Clubs were
ruined, so said certain young parsimonious profligates, by providing
comforts for old fogies who paid little or nothing but their
subscriptions, and took out by their mere presence three times as
much as they gave. This club was not to be opened till three o'clock
in the afternoon, before which hour the promoters of the Beargarden
thought it improbable that they and their fellows would want a
club. There were to be no morning papers taken, no library, no
morning-room. Dining-rooms, billiard-rooms, and card-rooms would
suffice for the Beargarden. Everything was to be provided by a
purveyor, so that the club should be cheated only by one man.
Everything was to be luxurious, but the luxuries were to be achieved
at first cost. It had been a happy thought, and the club was said to
prosper. Herr Vossner, the purveyor, was a jewel, and so carried on
affairs that there was no trouble about anything. He would assist
even in smoothing little difficulties as to the settling of card
accounts, and had behaved with the greatest tenderness to the drawers
of cheques whose bankers had harshly declared them to have "no
effects." Herr Vossner was a jewel, and the Beargarden was a
success. Perhaps no young man about town enjoyed the Beargarden more
thoroughly than did Sir Felix Carbury. The club was in the close
vicinity of other clubs, in a small street turning out of St. James's
Street, and piqued itself on its outward quietness and sobriety. Why
pay for stone-work for other people to look at;--why lay out money
in marble pillars and cornices, seeing that you can neither eat such
things, nor drink them, nor gamble with them? But the Beargarden had
the best wines,--or thought that it had,--and the easiest chairs, and
two billiard-tables than which nothing more perfect had ever been
made to stand upon legs. Hither Sir Felix wended on that January
afternoon as soon as he had his mother's cheque for £20 in his
pocket.
He found his special friend, Dolly Longestaffe, standing on the steps
with a cigar in his mouth, and gazing vacantly at the dull brick
house opposite. "Going to dine here, Dolly?" said Sir Felix.
"I suppose I shall, because it's such a lot of trouble to go anywhere
else. I'm engaged somewhere, I know; but I'm not up to getting home
and dressing. By George! I don't know how fellows do that kind of
thing. I can't."
"Going to hunt to-morrow?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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