“No; you must eat them _all_,” said Dosia, with charming authority, her
arms before her on the table, elbow-sleeved, white and dimpled, as she
regarded him. He seemed to take up all the corner, against the
background of the green honeysuckle in the fresh morning light. With
that smile upon his face, he seemed extraordinarily masculine and
absorbing, yet appealing, too, inviting of confidence.
Dosia felt carried out of herself by a sudden heady resolution—or,
rather, not a new resolution, but one that she had had in mind for a
long, long time, before, oh, before she had even known who this man was.
She had planned over and over again how she was to say those words, and
now the time had come. She could not sit here with him in this new,
sweet friendliness without saying them. She had imagined the scene in so
many different ways! When she had gone over it by herself, her cheeks
had flushed, her eyes had shone with the tears in them; the words as she
spoke them had gone deeply, convincingly, from heart to heart—or
perhaps, in an assumed, tremulous lightness, the meaning in her impulse
had shown all the clearer to one who understood. For a year and a half
the uttered thought had been the climax to which her dreams had led; it
would have seemed a monstrous, impossible thing that it had not been
reached before.
She began now in a moment’s pause, only to find, too late, that all
warmth and naturalness had left her with the effort. Fluent
dream-practice is only too apt to make one uncomfortably crude and
conscious in real life.
“I want to thank you for being so kind to me the night of that accident
on the train coming up from the South.” Poor Dosia instantly felt
committed to a mistake. Her eyes fell for a moment on his hand, as it
lay upon the table, with a terribly disconcerting remembrance that hers
had not only rested in it, but that in fancy she had more than once
pillowed her cheek upon it, and knew that he had seen the look; she
continued in desperation, with still increasing stiffness and formality:
“I have always known, of course, that it was you. You must pardon me for
not thanking you before.”
The old unapproachable manner instantly incased him as if in remembrance
of something that hurt. “Oh, pray don’t mention it,” he said, with a
formality that matched hers. “It was nothing but what anyone would have
done—little enough, anyway.”
What happened afterwards she did not know, except that in a few minutes
he had gone.
She watched him go off down the path with that swift, long, easy step;
watched till the last vestige of the gray suit was out of sight—he had
a fashion of wearing gray!—before clearing off the table. Then she went
and sat on the back steps that led into the little garden, bright with
the sunshine and a blaze of tulips at her feet. Justin was fond of
flowers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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