She had been shy of him at first, waiting for him to seek her. After the
night of the bazaar and that wondrous waltz, she had felt that he must
fly to speak to her at the nearest opportunity, and tell her that he had
played for her, and her alone; and in return she had longed to assure
him of her divining sympathy. But he did not come. She invented many
excuses for this, but it gave her a sharp disappointment of which he was
necessarily unconscious. As she met him casually at different
places,—with the old quizzical gleam in his eye, and that peculiar
manner,—his lightest word became fraught with deep meaning, over which
she pondered, refusing to believe that the world she lived in was
entirely of her own creation. In these last two months she had always an
undercurrent of thought for him, whether she was practicing or sewing,
or chaffing with Billy, or receiving the gallant but somewhat heavy
attentions of Mr. Sutton. With Lawson’s avoidance of her had come a
childish, uncalculating’ impulse to attract. Dosia had not told the
truth when she said that she could not help his speaking to her; she
knew very well the morning he would have passed her by in the train, as
usual, if her eyes had not met his. Barr never presumed,—he knew the
place allotted to him,—but he accepted permission. When he sat down by
her, she swiftly wished him away again; yet her heart beat under his
cool glance—a glance which seemed to read her every thought. These
interviews, in which the conversations were of the lightest, yet in
which she felt subtle intimations, were a delicious and stinging
pleasure, like eating ice.
There had been a fitful burst of suburban gayety about Christmas-time
and after—a delightful flare that burned up red and glowing, only to
sink back gradually into the darkness of monotony. There was that fall
into a hum-drum condition of living, instigated by bad weather, which
shuts up each household into itself; the men were kept later down-town,
and the women had the usual influx of winter colds and minor maladies
which interfere with planned festivities. The younger sort had
engagements, individually and collectively, for “things in town,” either
coming out on the last train or staying comfortably overnight with
friends. An assembly dance planned for Shrove Tuesday had fallen
through.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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