Here occurred the great _tour de force_ in manners of ’Squire Timms.
Considerately turning his person quartering towards his host, and
seizing himself by the nose, much as if he had a quarrel with that
member of his face, he blowed a blast that sounded sonorously, and which
fulfilled all that it promised. Now a better mannered man than Dunscomb
it would not be easy to find. He was not particularly distinguished for
elegance of deportment, but he was perfectly well-bred. Nevertheless, he
did not flinch before this broad hint from vulgarity, but stood it
unmoved. To own the truth, so large has been the inroad from the base of
society, within the last five-and-twenty years, on the habits of those
who once exclusively dwelt together, that he had got hardened even to
_this_ innovation. The fact is not to be concealed, and, as we intend
never to touch upon the subject again, we shall say distinctly that Mr.
Timms blowed his nose with his fingers, and that, in so doing, he did
not innovate one half as much, to-day, on the usages of the Upper Ten
Thousand, as he would have done had he blowed his nose with his thumb
only, a quarter of a century since.
Dunscomb bore this infliction philosophically; and well he might, for
there was no remedy. Waiting for Timms to use his handkerchief, which
was produced somewhat tardily for such an operation, he quietly opened
the subject of their interview.
“So the grand jury has actually found a bill for murder and arson, my
nephew writes me,” Dunscomb observed, looking enquiringly at his
companion, as if really anxious for further intelligence.
“Unanimously, they tell me, Mr. Dunscomb,” answered Timms. “I understand
that only one man hesitated, and he was brought round before they came
into court. That piece of money damns our case in old Duke’s.”
“Money saves more cases than it damns, Timms; and no one knows it better
than yourself.”
“Very true, sir. Money may defy even the new code. Give me five hundred
dollars, and change the proceedings to a civil action, and I’ll carry
anything in my own county that you’ll put on the calendar, barring some
twenty or thirty jurors I could name. There _are_ about thirty men in
the county that I can do nothing with—for that matter, whom I dare not
approach.”
“How the deuce is it, Timms, that you manage your causes with so much
success? for I remember you have given me a good deal of trouble in
suits in which law and fact were both clearly enough on my side.”
“I suppose those must have been causes in which we ‘horse-shedded’ and
‘pillowed’ a good deal.”
“Horse-shedded and pillowed! Those are legal terms of which I have no
knowledge!”
“They are country phrases, sir, and country customs too, for that
matter. A man might practise a long life in town, and know nothing about
them. The Halls of Justice are not immaculate; but they can tell us
nothing of horse-shedding and pillowing. They do business in a way of
which we in the country are just as ignorant as you are of our mode.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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