The Weavers: a tale of England and Egypt of fifty years ago - Volume 4 — John Shaqi
The Weavers: a tale of England and Egypt of fifty years ago - Volume 4Parker, Gilbert
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The Weavers: a tale of England and Egypt of fifty years ago - Volume 4
Parker, Gilbert
Society of Friends -- Fiction
troubles, when men were dying and only the Saadat could save, that this
cordial lifted him out of misery and storm into calm. Yet Mahommed must
have divined that it was a thing against which his soul revolted, or he
would have given it to him openly. In the heart and mind of the giant
murderer, however, must have been the thought that now when trouble was
upon his master again, trouble which might end all, this supreme
destroyer of pain and dark memory and present misery, would give him the
comfort he needed--and that he would take it.
If he had not seen it, this sudden craving would not have seized him for
this eager beguiling, this soothing benevolence. Yet here it was in his
hand; and even as it lay in his cold fingers--how cold they were, and his
head how burning!--the desire for it surged up in him. And, as though
the thing itself had the magical power to summon up his troubles, that it
might offer the apathy and stimulus in one--even as it lured him, his
dangers, his anxieties, the black uncertainties massed, multiplied and
aggressive, rose before him, buffeted him, caught at his throat, dragged
down his shoulders, clutched at his heart.
Now, with a cry of agony, he threw the phial on the ground, and, sinking
on the bed, buried his face in his hands and moaned, and fought for
freedom from the cords tightening round him. It was for him to realise
now how deep are the depths to which the human soul can sink, even while
labouring to climb. Once more the sense of awful futility was on him: of
wasted toil and blenched force, veins of energy drained of their blood,
hope smitten in the way, and every dear dream shattered. Was it, then,
all ended? Was his work indeed fallen, and all his love undone? Was his
own redemption made impossible? He had offered up his life to this land
to atone for a life taken when she--when she first looked up with eyes of
gratitude, eyes that haunted him. Was it, then, unacceptable? Was it so
that he must turn his back upon this long, heart-breaking but beloved
work, this panacea for his soul, without which he could not pay the price
of blood?
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