"As I told you, an old friend of my father's helped me to get work. That
kept me from ending it just there. As the months went on and he did not try
to find me, I got used to the round, to the school, the living on, dead and
alive. I thought of getting a divorce, of finding some country school in
another state. Dr. Leonard urged me to. I might have--I don't know. But
accidentally _he_ was brought back. I was going home from a teachers'
meeting that night. I saw him lying on the pavement, thrown out of the
saloon, as he told you. A crowd gathered. He was unconscious. I wanted to
run away, to leave him, to escape. He groaned. I couldn't--I couldn't."
She sighed wearily at the memory of her illogical act. The doctor nodded
sympathetically. It was a fatal moment, the point of decision in her life.
He understood what it meant to her.
"There was no one else to take him--to be responsible. He had been mine.
After all, the divorce would have made no difference; it never can. You
have to take your failures; you have to endure."
"Has he any relatives?" Sommers asked.
"A few; they were done with him long ago. They had money, and they wanted
to get rid of him. They put him into a business that would keep him away
from them; that would give him the best chance to kill himself--going about
everywhere, always travelling, always with men who drink and live in hotels
as he has. They shoved him into the world to let the world, or any one who
would, take care of him."
It had been her lot, because of the error of her incompetent heart, to take
charge of this flotsam. That was so evident that she had given up seeking
for escape.
"He is helpless now," she added, as for excuse. "It would be cruel."
For a moment the doctor's face looked hard. Was it, he seemed to be turning
over in his mind, that she loved him a little in the depths of her heart?
That was an irritating trait of feminine stupidity. But one intelligent
glance at her calm face rendered that supposition impossible. She was
merely largely human, with a sense of remote claims.
"And now what will you do?" he asked.
Her eyes were brooding on that now. Finally she exclaimed with an impatient
gesture:
"How can I tell! He may get strong enough to leave me--in peace. He may
come back again to rest and get well. And that may go on and on until one
of us dies, or I am discharged. As I told you, they are trying now to
exclude married teachers from the schools. And I am married!"
Sommers saw that she had faced the sordid situation; that she expected no
relief from the clouds. He got up and looked at his watch.
"I shall come again. We will see what can be done."
This was a convention of the profession. Nothing could be done for that
man, and he knew it. She knew it also. She smiled mournfully as they shook
hands. Yet as he moved toward the door she asked in a low tone:
"Won't you tell me what you call it? There is no use in not telling me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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