"Because I love you," he replied, almost fiercely. "And you! But if you
loved me, you would bless them, these differences between our
environments, instead of fearing them! You would see in the hostility of
my circle--I admit that I had not thought of it!--a means of having me
entirely to yourself. I should have heard you simply discuss the matter
and hesitate. But the coldness of your reply, this keen analysis of our
respective social positions, this balance-sheet of our families spread
out before me, calmly, coldly, mathematically, when I had come here, mad
with emotion, and thinking only of the life of the heart!--I am more
deeply hurt by that than by your refusal. I might have discussed it and
argued against your reasons. One does not discuss, one does not combat
indifference. One submits to it, and it is horrible!"
"How unjust you are, Landri!" she exclaimed. It very rarely happened
that she addressed him so, by his first name. That caress of language,
the only kind that she had ever bestowed on him, and that so seldom,
came to her lips in face of the young man's evident despair. A woman who
loves can endure everything, conceal everything, except the compassion
aroused by a sorrow which she has inflicted upon the man she loves; and,
destroying, by that involuntary outburst of her passion, the whole
effect of her previous refusal, she added: "I! indifferent to you! Why,
of whom was I thinking when I spoke, if not of you, solely and only of
you, of your future and your happiness?"
"How happy I should be," he interrupted, "if, on the other hand, you
would think only of yourself, if you would have the selfishness of love,
its exigences, its unreasonableness! And yet," he continued with the
asperity of a passion which feels that it is reciprocated, despite all
manner of resistance, and which is exasperated by that assurance, "it is
true. You have some feeling for me in your heart. You are not a
coquette. You would not make sport of a man who has shown you so plainly
that he loves you, and how dearly! I said just now that you didn't love
me. At certain times I believe it, and it tortures me. At other times I
feel that you are so moved, so trembling--see, now!--Oh! by everything
on earth that you hold sacred, Valentine,"--he had never before allowed
himself that familiarity, which made her start like a kiss,--"if you
really regard me with the feeling that I have for you, if my long
fidelity has touched you, answer me. Is it true, really true, that
between me and my happiness,--for you are my happiness, only you, I tell
you,--between your heart and my heart there is nothing but that single,
wretched obstacle, my name?"
"There is nothing else," she replied, "I swear."
"And you expect me to bow before that, to give you up because I am
called Comte de Claviers-Grandchamp and you Madame Olier, and because my
social circle will frown upon the marriage!"
"It is not I who expect it," she replied, "it is life!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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