The Weird Adventures of Professor Delapine of the SorbonneJohnson, G. Lindsay (George Lindsay)
Science
The Weird Adventures of Professor Delapine of the Sorbonne
Johnson, G. Lindsay (George Lindsay)
Spiritualism -- Fiction
Violette laughed heartily at the Englishman's egotism.
"But I assure you, mademoiselle, these little Anglo-Saxon words would
fill a dictionary with their shades of meaning. To take an example: the
word 'go' has at least a hundred different meanings. Thus we say, 'the
clock is going,' whereas it is standing still all the time. 'Go' may
mean 'to die,' as in the phrase (he is going)--to succeed (the scheme
did not go)--to fare (how goes it?)--to release (let go my hand)--it
may mean a misfortune (here's a pretty go)--or an attempt (let's have a
go at it)--or----"
"Please, that's enough," cried Violette, "my poor head is in a whirl
already. Let us conclude the whole matter by saying that with a dozen
of these elastic Anglo-Saxon words of yours one may write a book and
express every sentence in Macaulay, Milton and Shakespeare."
"What a pretty wit," said Ridgeway, laughing. "The remarkable thing
about the English language," he added, "is that all the words which we
use most are not to be found in any dictionary."
Violette opened her eyes in amazement.
"It's a fact, I assure you, mademoiselle."
"What a dreadful language," she replied, "I had no idea English was so
difficult. How on earth is the ordinary person to learn it?"
"One does not learn it," said Charley, "it just grows on one. If you
try to learn English you never will. The professors of English who are
paid to teach you don't know the words themselves, that is, the really
useful ones, such as, 'awful,' 'jolly,' 'ripping,' 'rot,' 'blooming,'
and thousands of others, and even in the very best French dictionaries
you will find the English equivalent which is given, as something which
has not the remotest connection with the word you have looked up."
"Surely you are joking, monsieur," she replied.
"Not in the least I assure you," he answered. "I see you have a Gasc's
pocket dictionary, mademoiselle, which is one of the very best. Do me
the favour to turn up the word 'cad.'"
Violette did so and read out, "cad--conducteur d' omnibus."
"There you are," he replied, "what did I tell you? Suppose an
unfortunate and harmless Frenchman arriving for the first time in
London, were to rely on the dictionary and address the conductor of
the first 'bus he entered as a cad, by George, he would probably find
himself the next moment rolling in the gutter with the conductor on
the top of him, and his only excuse would be that he trusted to the
dictionary."
Violette looked at him with a mingled expression of amazement and doubt
as to whether he was serious or not, and then glanced at her father who
was snoring in the corner of the carriage, with a night-cap tied over
his ears, while Madame Beaupaire was taking stock of Charley by the aid
of a gold-mounted pair of lorgnettes attached to a long tortoise-shell
handle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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