Lesbians -- England -- Social conditions -- Fiction
At that moment she felt an imperative need to believe that the stricken
beast had a Maker, and her own eyes grew bright, but with blinding tears
because of her mighty need to believe, a need that was sharper than
physical pain, being born of the pain of the spirit. The thing was
dragging its brush in the dust, it was limping, and Stephen sprang to
the ground. She held out her hands to the unhappy creature, filled with
the will to succour and protect it, but the fox mistrusted her merciful
hands, and it crept away into a little coppice. And now in a deathly and
awful silence the hounds swept past her, their muzzles to ground. After
them galloped Colonel Antrim, crouching low in his saddle, avoiding the
branches, and after him came a couple of huntsmen with the few bold
riders who had stayed that stiff run. Then a savage clamour broke out in
the coppice as the hounds gave tongue in their wild jubilation, and
Stephen well knew that that sound meant death—very slowly she remounted
Raftery.
Riding home, she felt utterly spent and bewildered. Her thoughts were
full of her father again—he seemed very near, incredibly near her. For
a moment she thought that she heard his voice, but when she bent
sideways trying to listen, all was silence, except for the tired rhythm
of Raftery’s hooves on the road. As her brain grew calmer, it seemed to
Stephen that her father had taught her all that she knew. He had taught
her courage and truth and honour in his life, and in death he had taught
her mercy—the mercy that he had lacked he had taught her through the
mighty adventure of death. With a sudden illumination of vision, she
perceived that all life is only one life, that all joy and all sorrow
are indeed only one, that all death is only one dying. And she knew that
because she had seen a man die in great suffering, yet with courage and
love that are deathless, she could never again inflict wanton
destruction or pain upon any poor, hapless creature. And so it was that
by dying to Stephen, Sir Philip would live on in the attribute of mercy
that had come that day to his child.
But the body is still very far from the spirit, and it clings to the
primitive joys of the earth—to the sun and the wind and the good
rolling grass-lands, to the swift elation of reckless movement, so that
Stephen, feeling Raftery between her strong knees, was suddenly filled
with regret. Yes, in this her moment of spiritual insight she was
infinitely sad, and she said to Raftery: ‘We’ll never hunt any more, we
two, Raftery—we’ll never go out hunting together any more.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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