Lesbians -- England -- Social conditions -- Fiction
Her mind was a prey to the strangest fancies. She pictured her father
very grave and anxious, not gay and light-hearted as had been his wont
when they rode to a Meet in the old days. And because this day was so
vibrant with living it was difficult for Stephen to tolerate the idea of
death, even for a little red fox, and she caught herself thinking: ‘If
we find, this morning, there’ll be two of us who are utterly alone, with
every man’s hand against us.’
At the Meet she was a prey to her self-conscious shyness, so that she
fancied people were whispering. There was no one now with bowed, patient
shoulders to stand between her and those unfriendly people.
Colonel Antrim came up. ‘Glad to see you out, Stephen.’ But his voice
sounded stiff because he was embarrassed—every one felt just a little
embarrassed, as people will do in the face of bereavement.
And then there was something so awkward about her, so aloof that it
checked every impulse of kindness. They, in their turn, felt shy,
remembering Sir Philip, remembering what his death must have meant to
his daughter, so that more than one greeting remained unspoken.
And again she thought grimly: ‘Two of us will be alone, with every man’s
hand against us.’
They found their fox in the very first cover and went away over the
wide, bare meadows. As Raftery leapt forward her curious fancies gained
strength, and now they began to obsess her. She fancied that she was
being pursued, that the hounds were behind her instead of ahead, that
the flushed, bright-eyed people were hunting her down, ruthless,
implacable untiring people—they were many and she was one solitary
creature with every man’s hand against her. To escape them she suddenly
took her own line, putting Raftery over some perilous places; but he,
nothing loath, stretched his muscles to their utmost, landing
safely—yet always she imagined pursuit, and now it was the world that
had turned against her. The whole world was hunting her down with
hatred, with a fierce, remorseless will to destruction—the world
against one insignificant creature who had nowhere to turn for pity or
protection. Her heart tightened with fear, she was terribly afraid of
those flushed, bright-eyed people who were hard on her track. She, who
had never lacked physical courage in her life, was now actually sweating
with terror, and Raftery divining her terror sped on, faster and always
faster.
Then Stephen saw something just ahead, and it moved. Checking Raftery
sharply she stared at the thing. A crawling, bedraggled streak of red
fur, with tongue lolling, with agonized lungs filled to bursting, with
the desperate eyes of the hopelessly pursued, bright with terror and
glancing now this way now that as though looking for something; and the
thought came to Stephen: ‘It’s looking for God Who made it.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account