Lesbians -- England -- Social conditions -- Fiction
A soul-sickening business. She would feel degraded; she would feel
herself gradually losing all sense of pride, of common decency, even, so
that when she returned in the evening to Morton she would not want to
look the old house in the eyes. She would not want to face those
pictures of Gordons that hung in its hall, and must turn away, lest they
by their very silence rebuke this descendant of theirs who was so
unworthy. Yet sometimes it seemed to her that she loved more intensely
because she had lost so much—there was nothing left now but Angela
Crossby.
2
Watching this deadly decay that threatened all that was fine in her
erstwhile pupil, Puddle must sometimes groan loudly in spirit; she must
even argue with God about it. Yes, she must actually argue with God like
Job; and remembering his words in affliction, she must speak those words
on behalf of Stephen: ‘Thine hands have made me and fashioned me
together round about; yet Thou dost destroy me.’ For now in addition to
everything else, she had learnt of the advent of Roger Antrim. Not that
Stephen had confided in her, far from it, but gossip has a way of
travelling quickly. Roger spent most of his leisure at The Grange. She
had heard that he was always going over from Worcester. So now Puddle,
who had not been much given to prayer in the past, must argue with God,
like Job. And perhaps, since God probably listens to the heart rather
than to the lips, He forgave her.
3
Stupid with misery and growing more inept every day, Stephen found
herself no match for Roger. He was calm, self-assured, insolent and
triumphant, and his love of tormenting had not waned with his manhood.
Roger was no fool; he put two and two together and his masculine
instinct deeply resented this creature who might challenge his right of
possession. Moreover, that masculine instinct was outraged. He would
stare at Stephen as though she were a horse whom he strongly suspected
of congenital unsoundness, and then he would let his eyes rest on
Angela’s face. They would be the eyes of a lover, possessive, demanding,
insistent eyes—if Ralph did not happen to be present. And into Angela’s
eyes there would come an expression that Stephen had seen many times. A
mist would slowly cloud over their blueness; they would dim, as though
they were hiding something. Then Stephen would be seized with a violent
trembling, so that she could not stand any more but must sit with her
hands clasped tightly together, lest those trembling hands betray her to
Roger. But Roger would have seen already, and would smile his slow,
understanding, masterful smile.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account