Lesbians -- England -- Social conditions -- Fiction
The grave, comely house would not know her any more, nor the garden
where she had heard the cuckoo with the dawning understanding of a
child, nor the lakes where she had kissed Angela Crossby for the first
time—full on the lips as a lover. The good, sweet-smelling meadows with
their placid cattle, she was going to leave them; and the hills that
protected poor, unhappy lovers—the merciful hills; and the lanes with
their sleepy dog-roses at evening; and the little, old township of
Upton-on-Severn with its battle-scarred church and its yellowish river;
that was where she had first seen Angela Crossby. . . .
The spring would come sweeping across Castle Morton, bringing strong,
clean winds to the open common. The spring would come sweeping across
the whole valley, from the Cotswold Hills right up to the Malverns;
bringing daffodils by their hundreds and thousands, bringing bluebells
to the beech wood down by the lakes, bringing cygnets for Peter the swan
to protect; bringing sunshine to warm the old bricks of the house—but
she would not be there any more in the spring. In summer the roses would
not be her roses, nor the luminous carpet of leaves in the autumn, nor
the beautiful winter forms of the beech trees: ‘And on evenings in
winter these lakes are quite frozen, and the ice looks like slabs of
gold in the sunset, when you and I come and stand here in the
winter. . . .’ No, no, not that memory, it was too much—‘when you and I
come and stand here in the winter. . . .’
Getting up, she wandered about the room, touching its kind and familiar
objects; stroking the desk, examining a pen, grown rusty from long
disuse as it lay there; then she opened a little drawer in the desk and
took out the key of her father’s locked bookcase. Her mother had told
her to take what she pleased—she would take one or two of her father’s
books. She had never examined this special bookcase, and she could not
have told why she suddenly did so. As she slipped the key into the lock
and turned it, the action seemed curiously automatic. She began to take
out the volumes slowly and with listless fingers, scarcely glancing at
their titles. It gave her something to do, that was all—she thought
that she was trying to distract her attention. Then she noticed that on
a shelf near the bottom was a row of books standing behind the others;
the next moment she had one of these in her hand, and was looking at the
name of the author: Krafft Ebing—she had never heard of that author
before. All the same she opened the battered old book, then she looked
more closely, for there on its margins were notes in her father’s small,
scholarly hand and she saw that her own name appeared in those notes—
She began to read, sitting down rather abruptly. For a long time she
read; then went back to the bookcase and got out another of those
volumes, and another. . . . The sun was now setting behind the hills;
the garden was growing dusky with shadows. In the study there was little
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account