Lesbians -- England -- Social conditions -- Fiction
Jamie’s studio was large, bare, and swept by draughts. The stove was too
small and at times it smelt vilely. The distempered grey walls were a
mass of stains, for whenever it hailed or rained or snowed the windows
and skylight would always start dripping. The furniture consisted of a
few shaky chairs, a table, a divan and a hired grand piano. Nearly every
one seated themselves on the floor, robbing the divan of its moth-eaten
cushions. From the studio there led off a tiny room with an eye-shaped
window that would not open. In this room had been placed a narrow
camp-bed to which Jamie retired when she felt extra sleepless. For the
rest, there was a sink with a leaky tap; a cupboard in which they kept
crème-de-menthe, what remnants of food they possessed at the moment,
Jamie’s carpet slippers and blue jean jacket—minus which she could
never compose a note—and the pail, cloths and brushes with which
Barbara endeavoured to keep down the accumulating dirt and confusion.
For Jamie with her tow-coloured head in the clouds, was not only
short-sighted but intensely untidy. Dust meant little to her since she
seldom saw it, while neatness was completely left out of her make-up;
considering how limited were her possessions, the chaos they produced
was truly amazing. Barbara would sigh and would quite often scold—when
she scolded she reminded one of a wren who was struggling to discipline
a large cuckoo.
‘Jamie, your dirty shirt, give it to me—leaving it there on the piano,
whatever!’ Or, ‘Jamie, come here and look at your hair-brush; if you
haven’t gone and put it next-door to the butter!’
Then Jamie would peer with her strained, red-rimmed eyes and would
grumble: ‘Oh, leave me in peace, do, lassie!’
But when Barbara laughed, as she must do quite often at the outrageous
habits of the great loose-limbed creature, why then these days she would
usually cough, and when Barbara started to cough she coughed badly. They
had seen a doctor who had spoken about lungs and had shaken his head;
not strong, he had told them. But neither of them had quite understood,
for their French had remained very embryonic, and they could not afford
the smart English doctor. All the same when Barbara coughed Jamie
sweated, and her fear would produce an acute irritation.
‘Here, drink this water! Don’t sit there doing nothing but rack yourself
to bits, it gets on my nerves. Go and order another bottle of that
mixture. God, how can I work if you will go on coughing!’ She would
slouch to the piano and play mighty chords, pressing down the loud pedal
to drown that coughing. But when it had subsided she would feel deep
remorse. ‘Oh, Barbara, you’re so little—forgive me. It’s all my fault
for bringing you out here, you’re not strong enough for this damnable
life, you don’t get the right food, or anything proper.’
In the end it would be Barbara who must console. ‘We’ll be rich some day
when you’ve finished your opera—anyhow my cough isn’t dangerous,
Jamie.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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