Lesbians -- England -- Social conditions -- Fiction
Their Christmas was naturally overshadowed, and so, as it were by a
common impulse, they turned to such people as Barbara and Jamie, people
who would neither despise nor insult them. It was Mary who suggested
that Barbara and Jamie should be asked to share their Christmas dinner,
while Stephen who must suddenly pity Wanda for a misjudged and very
unfortunate genius, invited her also—after all why not? Wanda was more
sinned against than sinning. She drank, oh, yes, Wanda drowned her
sorrows; everybody knew that, and like Valérie Seymour, Stephen hated
drink like the plague—but all the same she invited Wanda.
An ill wind it is that blows no one any good. Barbara and Jamie accepted
with rapture; but for Mary’s most timely invitation, their funds being
low at the end of the year, they two must have gone without Christmas
dinner. Wanda also seemed glad enough to come, to leave her enormous,
turbulent canvas for the orderly peace of the well-warmed house with its
comfortable rooms and its friendly servants. All three of them arrived a
good hour before dinner, which on this occasion would be in the evening.
Wanda had been up to Midnight Mass at the Sacré Cœur, she informed them
gravely; and Stephen, reminded of Mademoiselle Duphot, regretted that
she had not offered her the motor. No doubt she too had gone up to
Montmartre for Midnight Mass—how queer, she and Wanda. Wanda was quiet,
depressed and quite sober; she was wearing a straight-cut, simple black
dress that somehow suggested a species of cassock. And as often happened
when Wanda was sober, she repeated herself more than when she was drunk.
‘I have been to the Sacré Cœur,’ she repeated, ‘for the Messe de Minuit;
it was very lovely.’
But she did not reveal the tragic fact that her fear had suddenly laid
hold upon her at the moment of approaching the altar rails, so that she
had scuttled back to her seat, terrified of receiving the Christmas
Communion. Even a painfully detailed confession of intemperance, of the
lusts of the eyes and the mind, of the very occasional sins of the body;
even the absolution accorded by a white-haired old priest who had spoken
gently and pitifully to his penitent, directing her prayers to the
Sacred Heart from which his own heart had derived its compassion—even
these things had failed to give Wanda courage when it came to the
Christmas Communion. And now as she sat at Stephen’s table she ate
little and drank but three glasses of wine; nor did she ask for a cognac
brandy when later they went to the study for coffee, but must talk of
the mighty temple of her faith that watched day and night, night and day
over Paris.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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