Lesbians -- England -- Social conditions -- Fiction
Sir Philip never knew how much he longed for a son until, some ten years
after marriage, his wife conceived a child; then he knew that this thing
meant complete fulfilment, the fulfilment for which they had both been
waiting. When she told him, he could not find words for expression, and
must just turn and weep on her shoulder. It never seemed to cross his
mind for a moment that Anna might very well give him a daughter; he saw
her only as a mother of sons, nor could her warnings disturb him. He
christened the unborn infant Stephen, because he admired the pluck of
that Saint. He was not a religious man by instinct, being perhaps too
much of a student, but he read the Bible for its fine literature, and
Stephen had gripped his imagination. Thus he often discussed the future
of their child: ‘I think I shall put Stephen down for Harrow,’ or: ‘I’d
rather like Stephen to finish off abroad, it widens one’s outlook on
life.’
And listening to him, Anna also grew convinced; his certainty wore down
her vague misgivings, and she saw herself playing with this little
Stephen, in the nursery, in the garden, in the sweet-smelling meadows.
‘And himself the lovely young man,’ she would say, thinking of the soft
Irish speech of her peasants: ‘And himself with the light of the stars
in his eyes, and the courage of a lion in his heart!’
When the child stirred within her she would think it stirred strongly
because of the gallant male creature she was hiding; then her spirit
grew large with a mighty new courage, because a man-child would be born.
She would sit with her needlework dropped on her knees, while her eyes
turned away to the long line of hills that stretched beyond the Severn
valley. From her favourite seat underneath an old cedar, she would see
these Malvern Hills in their beauty, and their swelling slopes seemed to
hold a new meaning. They were like pregnant women, full-bosomed,
courageous, great green-girdled mothers of splendid sons! Thus through
all those summer months, she sat and watched the hills, and Sir Philip
would sit with her—they would sit hand in hand. And because she felt
grateful she gave much to the poor, and Sir Philip went to church, which
was seldom his custom, and the Vicar came to dinner, and just towards
the end many matrons called to give good advice to Anna.
But: ‘Man proposes—God disposes,’ and so it happened that on Christmas
Eve, Anna Gordon was delivered of a daughter; a narrow-hipped,
wide-shouldered little tadpole of a baby, that yelled and yelled for
three hours without ceasing, as though outraged to find itself ejected
into life.
2
Anna Gordon held her child to her breast, but she grieved while it
drank, because of her man who had longed so much for a son. And seeing
her grief, Sir Philip hid his chagrin, and he fondled the baby and
examined its fingers.
‘What a hand!’ he would say. ‘Why it’s actually got nails on all its ten
fingers: little, perfect, pink nails!’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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