Lesbians -- England -- Social conditions -- Fiction
She thought: ‘They go on—they mean nothing at all, and yet they go on,’
and the handling of them was anguish, and yet she must always touch
them. ‘How queer, this old arm-chair has outlived him, an old chair—’
And feeling the creases in its leather, the dent in its back where her
father’s head had lain, she would hate the inanimate thing for
surviving, or perhaps she would love it and find herself weeping.
Morton had become a place of remembering that closed round her and held
her in its grip of remembrance. It was pain, yet now more than ever she
adored it, every stone, every blade of grass in its meadows. She fancied
that it too grieved for her father and was turning to her for comfort.
Because of Morton the days must go on, all their trifling tasks must be
duly accomplished. At times she might wonder that this should be so,
might be filled with a fleeting sense of resentment, but then she would
think of her home as a creature dependent upon her and her mother for
its needs, and the sense of resentment would vanish.
Very gravely she listened to the lawyer from London. ‘The place goes to
your mother for her lifetime,’ he told her; ‘on her death, of course, it
becomes yours, Miss Gordon. But your father made a separate provision;
when you’re twenty-one, in about two years time, you’ll inherit quite a
considerable income.’
She said: ‘Will that leave enough money for Morton?’
‘More than enough,’ he reassured her, smiling.
In the quiet old house there was discipline and order, death had come
and gone, yet these things persisted. Like the well-worn garment and
favourite chair, discipline and order had survived the great change,
filling the emptiness of the rooms with a queer sense of unreality at
times, with a new and very bewildering doubt as to which was real, life
or death. The servants scoured and swept and dusted. From Malvern, once
a week, came a young clock-winder, and he set the clocks with much care
and precision so that when he had gone they all chimed together—rather
hurriedly they would all chime together, as though flustered by the
great importance of time. Puddle added up the books and made lists for
the cook. The tall under-footman polished the windows—the iridescent
window that looked out on the lawns and the semi-circular fanlight he
polished. In the gardens work progressed just as usual. Gardeners pruned
and hoed and diligently planted. Spring gained in strength to the joy of
the cuckoos, trees blossomed, and outside Sir Philip’s study glowed beds
of the old-fashioned single tulips he had loved above all the others.
According to custom the bulbs had been planted, and now, still according
to custom, there were tulips. At the stables the hunters were turned out
to grass, and the ceilings and walls had a fresh coat of whitewash.
Williams went into Upton to buy tape for the plaits which the grooms
were now engaged upon making; while beyond, in a paddock adjoining the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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