The Wellfields: A novel. Vol. 2 of 3Fothergill, Jessie
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The Wellfields: A novel. Vol. 2 of 3
Fothergill, Jessie
English fiction -- 19th century
Nita—Jerome felt very uncomfortable when he thought of Nita—very
uncomfortable as his eyes wandered from Sara Ford’s handwriting to
Anita Bolton’s face, which face he saw was pale, and the reason of
which pallor he knew as well as if some one had arisen and proclaimed
it aloud to him. They were all, without exception, under a false
impression in regard to him. How easy, exclaims a devoted adherent of
right-doing, to remove that false impression! How very easy casually
to let them all know that he was promised and vowed to another woman!
Was not the excuse there in the shape of Sara’s letter? Why not mention
that it was from the girl he was engaged to? What easier? Ah! what
to some natures? And to others what more difficult? Unfortunately it
was difficult to Jerome. He did resolve, as he looked at Nita that
morning, and saw the difficulty she had in meeting his eyes, that he
would not make love to her any more; that he would be cold to her even.
Such natures as his are given to making such resolutions in momentary
silence and reflectiveness; and when the moment comes for not making
love, for displaying coldness, they never recognise it; it is always
‘not now, another time!’ And this, not for fear of hurting a woman’s
feelings, though they would say so, even to themselves, but because
the flattery of a woman’s love is too sweet a dram to be forborne. It
was easy for Jerome Wellfield as he sat exchanging commonplaces at
the breakfast-table with Nita—and Nita’s father—to swear to himself
that such commonplaces alone should be the yea, yea, and the nay, nay,
of his entire conversation with her. When the moment came, in which
he found himself alone with her, or apart with her, the old trick of
the eyes, the old smoothness of the tongue slips back again, as if by
some fatality. So long as she believes him he will make love to her;
so long as she will worship him, he will accept the worship, and will
delight in it—and could not refuse it when it was offered, were the
alternative a plunge into the nethermost abyss of remorse—into the
scorching flames of discovery. Therefore, it may be predicted with
mathematical certainty that he will read that letter that lies before
him; that it will both charm and distress him—the first by its worship
of himself; the next by making him see that the writer believes him
as single-hearted as she is herself. After reading it, he will vow to
himself, much and more, ‘I must tell her—I will tell her.’ And he will
go to her, and will tell her—how precious her sympathy is to him, and
how perfect is her nature, and he will look love, if he does not speak
it.
While he was longing to open Sara’s letter, and vowing great vows to
undeceive Nita as early as might be, she said:
‘We are going to church this morning, Mr. Wellfield. Will you come too,
or would you prefer to stay at home?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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