The Wellfields: A novel. Vol. 2 of 3Fothergill, Jessie
General
The Wellfields: A novel. Vol. 2 of 3
Fothergill, Jessie
English fiction -- 19th century
Sometimes, after reading some very noble or beautiful poem, some very
striking and powerful novel, she had, it is true, wondered a little
if life was ever to contain any romance for her, and had thought
that such a romance would be pleasant. Then, being well endowed with
a certain shrewd, homely, common sense, she had often observed her
own reflection in the looking-glass, and had said to herself, ‘Nita,
my child, don’t flatter yourself that any man will ever fall in love
with you for your beauty; and if he should tell you he does, don’t
believe him. He might like you for some of your other qualities, if
he ever took the trouble to find them out, and no doubt many persons
might be found to love your money, and take you with it as a necessary
appendage; but I think you would do best to keep heart-whole, and not
marry anyone at all.’
She had been very contented in this prospect, though it must be owned
she had never contemplated the future without placing in it the figure
of John Leyburn in the character of ‘guide, philosopher, and friend.’
Then her father had appeared one afternoon, with Jerome Wellfield at
his side, and from that hour Nita’s fixed and settled plans for life
were upset.
That she should have cast aside her crude, untried schemes and fancies
when the man appeared whom she loved, in spite of all efforts not to
love him, was perhaps not surprising; indeed, there was perhaps nothing
very surprising in the whole matter. But, in every deep, intense,
and powerful love there are tragic elements, and those elements were
present in this love of Nita’s. Not the least tragic one was, that
though, as time went on, Wellfield said many tender things to her, and
looked unutterable ones; though she loved him as her life, and would
have hailed as a foretaste of heaven the conviction that he loved her,
yet she never had that conviction. She did not feel that he loved
her; she only felt that the things which she had seen she now could
see no more, that her peace and repose of mind were gone, and that
thus it must be, until he or she were no more. She felt that she was
living in an unnatural manner—in a dream; that the equilibrium between
outward and inward things had received a shock. She knew, though she
would not have put it in those words, that, sooner or later, that
equilibrium must be readjusted—that something would come to restore it,
that the restoration might take many shapes. There was the equilibrium
which means happiness, the continuous adjustment of outer to inner
conditions; there was the imperfect adjustment of those conditions,
which meant more or less of sorrow and suffering; there is the final
equilibrium—that great adjustment of outward conditions to inward ones,
which we call death. Any of these things might come to her she vaguely
felt as she paced beside the river walk, with Speedwell beside her, and
saw the swirling eddies of the river, and heard its gurgle, and saw the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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