The Wheels of Chance: A Bicycling IdyllWells, H. G. (Herbert George)
General
The Wheels of Chance: A Bicycling Idyll
Wells, H. G. (Herbert George)
Cycling -- Fiction; England -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
After this whirlwind Mr. Hoopdriver paid his reckoning and—being now a
little rested about the muscles of the knees—resumed his saddle and
rode on in the direction of Ripley, along an excellent but undulating
road. He was pleased to find his command over his machine already
sensibly increased. He set himself little exercises as he went along
and performed them with variable success. There was, for instance,
steering in between a couple of stones, say a foot apart, a deed of
little difficulty as far as the front wheel is concerned. But the back
wheel, not being under the sway of the human eye, is apt to take a
vicious jump over the obstacle, which sends a violent concussion all
along the spine to the skull, and will even jerk a loosely fastened hat
over the eyes, and so lead to much confusion. And again, there was
taking the hand or hands off the handlebar, a thing simple in itself,
but complex in its consequences. This particularly was a feat Mr.
Hoopdriver desired to do, for several divergent reasons; but at present
it simply led to convulsive balancings and novel and inelegant modes of
dismounting.
The human nose is, at its best, a needless excrescence. There are those
who consider it ornamental, and would regard a face deprived of its
assistance with pity or derision; but it is doubtful whether our esteem
is dictated so much by a sense of its absolute beauty as by the
vitiating effect of a universally prevalent fashion. In the case of
bicycle students, as in the young of both sexes, its inutility is
aggravated by its persistent annoyance—it requires constant attention.
Until one can ride with one hand, and search for, secure, and use a
pocket handkerchief with the other, cycling is necessarily a constant
series of descents. Nothing can be further from the author’s ambition
than a wanton realism, but Mr. Hoopdriver’s nose is a plain and salient
fact, and face it we must. And, in addition to this inconvenience,
there are flies. Until the cyclist can steer with one hand, his face is
given over to Beelzebub. Contemplative flies stroll over it, and trifle
absently with its most sensitive surfaces. The only way to dislodge
them is to shake the head forcibly and to writhe one’s features
violently. This is not only a lengthy and frequently ineffectual
method, but one exceedingly terrifying to foot passengers. And again,
sometimes the beginner rides for a space with one eye closed by
perspiration, giving him a waggish air foreign to his mood and ill
calculated to overawe the impertinent. However, you will appreciate now
the motive of Mr. Hoopdriver’s experiments. He presently attained
sufficient dexterity to slap himself smartly and violently in the face
with his right hand, without certainly overturning the machine; but his
pocket handkerchief might have been in California for any good it was
to him while he was in the saddle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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