England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
'I _might_ have done,' Alma admitted; 'but marriage put an end to that.
You have too much sense to think I mean that I repent it.'
'I don't see why marriage should put an end to it,' urged Dora. 'I'm
quite sure your husband would be very proud if you came out and had a
great success.'
'But if I came out and made a fiasco?'
'You wouldn't.'
That was in the summer of 1890, when the Rolfes had been living at
Pinner for eight months. The new violin (new to her, old and mellow in
itself) had inspired Alma to joyous exertions. Again she took lessons
from Herr Wilenski, who was sparing of compliment, but, by the mere
fact of receiving her at all, showed his good opinion. And many other
people encouraged her in a fine conceit of herself. Mrs. Strangeways
called her 'an unrecognised genius', and worshipped at her feet. To be
sure, one did not pay much attention to Mrs. Strangeways, but it is
sweet to hear such phrases, and twice already, though against her
better judgment, Alma had consented to play at that lady's house.
On both these occasions Cyrus Redgrave was present. Choosing his
moment, he approached her, looked in her face with a certain timidity
to which Alma was not insensible, and spoke as an ordinary
acquaintance. There was no helping it; the man had been formally
introduced, and, as he suggested, they had begun to know each other
afresh. Alma liked to remember how severely she had treated him at that
first encounter; perhaps that was enough for dignity. Mr. Redgrave
would hardly forget himself again. For the rest, she could not pretend,
within herself, to dislike him; and if he paid homage to her beauty, to
her social charm, to her musical gifts (all of which things Alma
recognised and tabulated), it might be only just to let him make amends
for something known to both of them. The insult Alma was far from
forgiving. But when she had talked twice with Redgrave distantly, as a
stranger to all his affairs--it began to steal upon her mind that there
would be a sweetly subtle satisfaction in allowing the man to imagine
that her coldness was not quite what it seemed; that so, perchance, he
might be drawn on and become enslaved. She had never been able to
congratulate herself on a conquest of Cyrus Redgrave. The memory of
Bregenz could still, at moments, bring the blood to her face; for it
was a memory of cool, calculating outrage, not of passion that had
broken bounds. To subdue the man in good earnest would be another
thing, and a peculiarly delicious morsel of revenge. Was it possible?
Not long ago she would have scoffed at the thought, deeming Redgrave
incapable of love in any shape. But her mind was changing in an
atmosphere of pleasure and flattery, and under the influence of talk
such as she heard in this house and one or two others like it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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