England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
How she spent the next few hours Alma could but dimly remember. It was
a vortex of wretchedness. As dark fell she found herself at the gate
leading to the bungalow, lurking, listening, waiting for courage to go
farther. She stole at length over the grass behind the bushes, until
she could see the lighted window of Redgrave's study. The window was
open. She crept nearer and nearer, till she was actually in the veranda
and looking into the room. Redgrave sat within, smoking and reading a
newspaper. She purposely made a movement which drew his attention.
How would it have ended but for Hugh Carnaby?
Beyond ascertaining that Sibyl was not there, she had of course
discovered nothing of what she wished to know. As likely as not she had
come too early. Redgrave's behaviour when she drew his attention
suggested that such a sound at the open window did not greatly surprise
him; the surprise appeared when he saw who stood there--surprise and
momentary embarrassment, which would be natural enough if he expected a
different visitor. And he was so anxious that she should come in at
once. Had she done so, Redgrave's life would have been saved; but----
Its having been publicly proved that Mrs. Carnaby was then far away
from Wimbledon did not tend to shake Alma's conviction. The summons to
her mother's deathbed had disturbed Sibyl's arrangements, that was all.
Most luckily for her, as it turned out. But women of that kind (said
Alma bitterly) are favoured by fortune.
Locked in a drawer of her writing-table lay a bundle of letters and
papers which had come to her immediately after the concert. To none of
the letters had she replied; it was time for her to go through them,
and answer, with due apologies, those which deserved an answer. Several
did not; they were from people whom she hoped never to see
again--people who wrote in fulsome terms, because they fancied she
would become a celebrity. The news of her breakdown had appeared in a
few newspapers, and brought her letters of sympathy; these also lay
unanswered. On a day of late autumn she brought herself to the task of
looking through this correspondence, and in the end she burnt it all.
Among the half-dozen people to whom she decided to write was Felix
Dymes; not out of gratitude, or any feeling of friendliness, but
because she could not overcome a certain fear of the man. He was
capable of any meanness, perhaps of villainy; and perhaps he harboured
malice against her, seeing that she had foiled him to the last. She
penned a few lines asking him to let her have a complete statement of
the financial results of her recital, which it seemed strange that he
had not sent already.
'My health,' she added, 'is far from re-established, and I am unable
either to go to town or to ask you to come and see me. It is rather
doubtful whether I shall ever again play in public.'
In her own mind there lingered no doubt at all, but she thought it
better not to be too abrupt with Dymes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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