England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
He would have liked to talk about the child with Mary Abbott, but there
never came an opportunity. Though it shamed and angered him to be under
such constraint, he felt obliged to avoid any private meeting with her.
Alma, he well understood, still nursed the preposterous jealousy which
had been in her mind so long; and in the present state of things,
dubious, transitional, it behoved him to give no needless occasion of
disquiet. As the months went on, he saw her spirits fail; with the
utmost difficulty she was persuaded to leave the house, and for hours
at a time she sat as if in melancholy brooding, unwilling to talk or to
read. Harvey tried reading to her, but in the daytime she could not
keep her thoughts from wandering, and after dinner it merely sent her
to sleep. Yet she declared that there was nothing to trouble about; she
would be herself again before long.
But one day the doctor who was attending her had a few words in private
with Rolfe, and told him that he had made an unpleasant discovery--Mrs
Rolfe was in the habit of taking a narcotic. At first, when the doctor
asked if this was the case, she had denied it, but in the end he had
elicited a confession, and a promise that the dangerous habit should be
relinquished.
'I was on no account to mention this to you, and you mustn't let it be
seen that I have done so. If it goes on, and I'm rather afraid it will
for a short time, I shall tell her that you must be informed of it.'
Harvey, to whom such a suspicion had never occurred, waited anxiously
for the doctor's further reports. As was anticipated, Alma's promise
held good only for a day or two, and when again she confessed, her
husband was called into counsel. The trio went through a grave and
disagreeable scene. On the doctor's departure, Alma sat for a long time
stubbornly and dolorously mute; then came tears and passionate
penitence.
'You mustn't think I'm a slave to it,' she said. 'It isn't so at all. I
can break myself off it at once, and I will.'
'Then why did you go on after the doctor's first warning?'
'Out of perversity, nothing else. I suffer much from bad nights, but it
wasn't that; I could bear it. I said to myself that I should do as I
liked.' She gave a tearful laugh.
'That's the whole truth. I felt just like a child when it's determined
to be naughty.'
'But this is far too serious a matter----'
'I know, I know. There shall be an end of it. I had my own way, and I'm
satisfied. Now I shall be reasonable.'
Judging from results, this seemed to be a true explanation. From that
day the doctor saw no reason for doubt. But Harvey had a most
uncomfortable sense of strangeness in his wife's behaviour; it seemed
to him that the longer he lived with Alma, the less able he was to read
her mind or comprehend her motives. It did not reassure him to reflect
that a majority of husbands are probably in the same case.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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