England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
So this was his meaning?--made plain enough at last, though with the
most graceful phrasing. Childish vanity and ignorance had forbidden her
to dream of such an issue. She had not for a moment grasped the
significance to a man of the world of the ruin and disgrace fallen upon
her family. In theory she might call herself an exile from the polite
world; none the less did she imagine herself still illumined by the
social halo, guarded by the divinity which doth hedge a member of the
upper-middle class. Was she not a lady? And who had ever dared to offer
a lady an insult such as this? Shop-girls, minor actresses, the
inferior sort of governess, must naturally be on their guard; their
insecurity was traditional; novel and drama represented their moral
vicissitudes. But a lady, who had lived in a great house with many
servants, who had founded an Amateur Quartet Society, the hem of whose
garment had never been touched with irreverent finger--could _she_
stand in peril of such indignity?
Not till now had she called to mind the forewarnings of Sibyl Carnaby,
which, at the time of hearing them, she did not at all understand.
'People,' said Sibyl, 'would approach her with strange ideas.' This she
might have applied to the grotesque proposal (as it seemed to her) of
Felix Dymes, or to the risk of being tempted into premature publicity
by a business offer from some not very respectable impresario. What
Sibyl meant was now only too clear; but how little could Mrs. Carnaby
have imagined that her warning would be justified by one of her own
friends--by a man of wealth and consideration.
She durst not leave the house for fear of encountering Redgrave, who,
if they crossed by chance, might fancy she invited another meeting. She
dreaded the observation of women, especially of Miss Steinfeld. The
only retreat was her bedroom, and here she secluded herself till
dinner-time. At this meal she must needs face the company or incur
remark. She tried to return her friend's smile with the ordinary
unconcern. After dinner there was no avoiding Miss Steinfeld, whose air
of extreme discretion showed that she had an inkling of events, and
awaited confidences.
'Mr. Redgrave has gone--he called to say goodbye.'
'_So_?'
Irritated by self-consciousness, revolting against a misinterpretation
which would injure her vanity, though it was not likely to aim at her
honour, Alma had recourse to fiction.
'I daresay you guess?--Yes, and I refused.'
Miss Steinfeld was puzzled. It did not astonish her that a girl should
reject ten thousand pounds per annum, for that she was too high-minded;
but she had thought it beyond doubt that Alma's heart was engaged.
Here, it had seemed to her, was the explanation of a mystery attaching
to this original young Englishwoman; unhoped, the brilliant lover, the
secretly beloved, had sought her in her retirement. And after all, it
was a mistake.
'I don't care for him a bit,' Alma went on. 'It had to be got over and
done with, that was all.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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