England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
'I know it would,' she answered with quiet decision.
'I should never dream of putting obstacles in your way. Do understand
and believe me. I don't want to shape you to any model of my own; I
want you to be your true self, and live the life you are meant for.'
'All the same, you would rather I did not become a professional
musician. Now, be honest with me! Be honest before everything. You
needn't answer, I know it well enough; and if I marry you, I give up my
music.'
Rolfe scrutinised her face, observed the tremulous mouth, the nervous
eyelid.
'Then,' he said, 'it will be better for you not to marry me.'
And silence fell upon the room, a silence in which Harvey could hear a
deep-drawn breath and the rustle of silk. He was surprised by a voice
in quite a new tone, softly melodious.
'You give me up very easily.'
'Not more easily than you give up your music.'
'There's a difference. Do you remember what we were saying, last
Wednesday, about simplicity of living?'
'Last Wednesday? It seems a month ago. Yes, I remember.'
'I have thought a good deal of that. I feel how vulgar the life is that
most people lead. They can't help it; they think it impossible to do
anything else. But I should like to break away from it altogether--to
live as I chose, and not care a bit what other people said.'
Harvey had the same difficulty as before in attaching much significance
to these phrases. They were pleasant to hear, for they chimed with his
own thoughts, but he could not respond with great seriousness.
'The wife of a man with my income won't have much choice, I fancy.'
'How can you say that?' exclaimed Alma. 'You know that most people
would take a house in a good part of London, and live up to the last
penny--making everyone think that their income must be two or three
thousand pounds. I know all about that kind of thing, and it sickens
me. There's the choice between vulgar display with worry, and a simple,
refined life with perfect comfort. You fancied I should want a house in
London?'
'I hardy thought anything about it.'
'But it would ease your mind if I said that I would far rather live in
a cottage, as quietly and simply as possible?'
'What does ease my mind--or rather, what makes me very happy, is that
you don't refuse to think of giving me your companionship.'
Alma flushed a little.
'I haven't promised. After all my thinking about it, it came to
this--that I couldn't make up my mind till I had talked over everything
with you. If I marry, I must know what my life is going to be. And it
puzzles me that you could dream of making anyone your wife before you
had asked her all sorts of questions.'
In his great contentment, Harvey laughed.
'Admirable, theoretically! But how is a man to begin asking questions?
How many would he ask before he got sent about his business?'
'That's the very way of putting his chance to the test!' said Alma
brightly. 'If he _is_ sent about his business, how much better for him
than to marry on a misunderstanding.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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