SCROOGE. Dine with you? Me? I'll see you hanged first. Dine with you? I'll see you in-- CRATCHIT (_sneezes violently_). SCROOGE. What's the matter with _you_? (_Turns to_ FRED.) I'm a busy man. Good afternoon. FRED. Come, uncle; say "Yes." SCROOGE. No. FRED. But why? Why? SCROOGE (_savagely_). Why did you get married? FRED. Because I fell in love. SCROOGE. Bah! (_Resumes his work._) Good afternoon. FRED. I want nothing from you. I ask nothing from you. But why can't we be friends? SCROOGE. Good afternoon. FRED. Uncle I won't part in anger. My dear mother was your only sister--your only relation. For her sake let us be friends. SCROOGE (_savagely_). Good afternoon. FRED. I'll still keep the Christmas spirit, uncle. A merry Christmas to you. SCROOGE (_busy at ledger_). Bah! FRED. And a happy New Year. SCROOGE. Good afternoon! FRED (_goes to_ CRATCHIT). And a merry Christmas to you, Bob Cratchit. CRATCHIT (_getting down from stool, shaking hands with_ FRED _warmly_). Merry Christmas, sir. God bless it! FRED. Ay, God bless it! And a happy New Year. CRATCHIT. And a happy New Year, too! God bless that, too! FRED. Ay, Bob, God bless that, too. (_Exit L._) SCROOGE. Cratchit, get to work! CRATCHIT. Yes, sir. (_Resumes work._) SCROOGE (_looks at him_). Humph! Fifteen shillings a week and a wife and six children, and he talks about a merry Christmas. Humph! (_Works on ledger._) _Enter from L._ TWO MISSION LASSIES. _They come down C._ FIRST LASS. Scrooge and Marley's, I believe? Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Scrooge or Mr. Marley? SCROOGE. Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years. He died seven years ago this very night. FIRST LASS. We have no doubt his liberality is represented by his surviving partner. (_Shows subscription paper._) SCROOGE. Liberality? Humph! (_Returns paper to her._) SECOND LASS. At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge, we are trying to make some slight provision for the poor and destitute, who are suffering greatly. Hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir. SCROOGE. Are there no prisons? SECOND LASS (_sighs_). Plenty of prisons, sir. SCROOGE. And the workhouses--are they still in operation? FIRST LASS. They are, sir; but they scarcely furnish Christmas cheer for mind and body. We are trying to raise a fund to buy the poor some meat and drink and means of warmth. SECOND LASS. We chose this time because it is a time when want is keenly felt and abundance rejoices. What shall we put you down for? SCROOGE. Nothing. FIRST LASS. You wish to be anonymous? SCROOGE. I wish to be left alone. I don't make merry myself at Christmas, I don't believe in it. And I can't afford to make idle people merry. They should go to the poorhouse. SECOND LASS. Many of them would rather die, sir, than do that. SCROOGE (_savagely_). If they would rather die, they'd better do it and decrease the population. And besides, I am a very busy man. FIRST LASS. But, sir--