"Oh, and there's one thing more," confided the Senior Surgeon. "It's
something, of course, that I ought to have told you the very first thing
of all!" Nervously he glanced down at the sleeping child, and lowered
his voice to a mumbling monotone. "As regards my actual morals you have
naturally a right to know that I've led a pretty decent sort of
life,--though I probably don't deserve any special credit for that. A
man who knows enough to be a doctor isn't particularly apt to lead any
other kind. Frankly,--as women rate vices I believe I have only one.
What--what--I'm trying to tell you--now--is about that one." A little
defiantly as to chin, a little appealingly as to eye, he emptied his
heart of its last tragic secret. "Through all the male line of my
family, Miss Malgregor, dipsomania runs rampant. Two of my brothers, my
father, my grandfather, my great grandfather before him, have all gone
down as the temperance people would say into 'drunkards' graves.' In my
own case, I have chosen to compromise with the evil. Such a choice,
believe me, has not been made carelessly or impulsively, but out of the
agony and humiliation of--several less successful methods." Hard as a
rock, his face grooved into its granite-like furrows again. "Naturally,
under these existing conditions," he warned her almost threateningly, "I
am not peculiarly susceptible to the mawkishly ignorant and sentimental
protests of--people whose strongest passions are an appetite
for--chocolate candy! For eleven months of the year," he hurried on a
bit huskily, "for eleven months of the year,--eleven months,--each day
reeking from dawn to dark with the driving, nerve-wracking,
heart-wringing work that falls to my profession, I lead an absolutely
abstemious life, touching neither wine nor liquor, nor even indeed tea
or coffee. In the twelfth month,--June always,--I go way, way up into
Canada,--way, way off in the woods to a little log camp I own
there,--with an Indian who has guided me thus for eighteen years. And
live like a--wild man for four gorgeous, care-free, trail-tramping,
salmon-fighting,--whisky-guzzling weeks. It is what your temperance
friends would call a--'spree.' To be quite frank, I suppose it is
what--anybody would call a 'spree.' Then the first of July,--three or
four days past the first of July perhaps,--I come out of the
woods--quite tame again. A little emotionally nervous, perhaps,--a
little temperishly irritable,--a little unduly sensitive about being
greeted as a returned jail-bird,--but most miraculously purged of all
morbid craving for liquor, and with every digital muscle as coolly
steady as yours, and every conscious mental process clamoring cleanly
for its own work again."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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