Bildungsromans; Midlands (England) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
He smiled painfully. His hand was resting on the table, the thumb
tucked tight under the fingers, his knuckles white as he nervously
gripped his thumb. At last supper was finished, and he picked up his
serviette from the floor and began to fold it. Lettie also seemed ill
at ease. She had teased him till the sense of his awkwardness had
become uncomfortable. Now she felt sorry, and a trifle repentant, so
she went to the piano, as she always did to dispel her moods. When she
was angry she played tender fragments of Tschaïkowsky, when she was
miserable, Mozart. Now she played Handel in a manner that suggested the
plains of heaven in the long notes, and in the little trills as if she
were waltzing up the ladder of Jacob’s dream like the damsels in
Blake’s pictures. I often told her she flattered herself scandalously
through the piano; but generally she pretended not to understand me,
and occasionally she surprised me by a sudden rush of tears to her
eyes. For George’s sake, she played Gounod’s “Ave Maria,” knowing that
the sentiment of the chant would appeal to him, and make him sad,
forgetful of the petty evils of this life. I smiled as I watched the
cheap spell working. When she had finished, her fingers lay motionless
for a minute on the keys, then she spun round, and looked him straight
in the eyes, giving promise of a smile. But she glanced down at her
knee.
“You are tired of music,” she said.
“No,” he replied, shaking his head.
“Like it better than salad?” she asked with a flash of raillery.
He looked up at her with a sudden smile, but did not reply. He was not
handsome; his features were too often in a heavy repose; but when he
looked up and smiled unexpectedly, he flooded her with an access of
tenderness.
“Then you’ll have a little more,” said she, and she turned again to the
piano. She played soft, wistful morsels, then suddenly broke off in the
midst of one sentimental plaint, and left the piano, dropping into a
low chair by the fire. There she sat and looked at him. He was
conscious that her eyes were fixed on him, but he dared not look back
at her, so he pulled his moustache.
“You are only a boy, after all,” she said to him quietly. Then he
turned and asked her why.
“It is a boy that you are,” she repeated, leaning back in her chair,
and smiling lazily at him.
“I never thought so,” he replied seriously.
“Really?” she said, chuckling.
“No,” said he, trying to recall his previous impressions.
She laughed heartily, saying:
“You’re growing up.”
“How?” he asked.
“Growing up,” she repeated, still laughing.
“But I’m sure I was never boyish,” said he.
“I’m teaching you,” said she, “and when you’re boyish you’ll be a very
decent man. A mere man daren’t be a boy for fear of tumbling off his
manly dignity, and then he’d be a fool, poor thing.”
He laughed, and sat still to think about it, as was his way.
“Do you like pictures?” she asked suddenly, being tired of looking at
him.
“Better than anything,” he replied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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